Dark Spaces ~ The 9th Tattoo

I guess I should finally get around to writing something about my most recent tattoo, since I keep saying I will. It’s not even new anymore. I got it in April of last year.

There was a Twilight event that a few of my friends were planning to go to in Gatlinburg, TN and I wanted to go with them, but had no way of getting there ($$$), so since they were already planning to meet up one-by-one along the way, I purposed that they include Toronto as one of their stops and spend a few days up here so we could all roadtrip down together. Lucky for me, they thought this was a brilliant idea!


We did a lot of fun things in the five days they visited, one of which was a stop at the place downtown where I get all my piercings and got two of my previous tattoos, Yonge Street Tattoos. Ang wanted to get a piece on her arm that our other friend Tami had drawn for her. Tami is a fantastic artist so make sure to give her a like and a follow on Facebook and Instagram. (She also writes – and I beta for her. I mentioned her current WIP before. There are only 4 chapters left to post. Don’t miss out!)

Jodi had only one other tattoo – the stars on her ankle that we got together a few years back. We were always hassling her to add another. (Still are, in fact. I’m helping her plan out her third!) Since Ang was getting hers done, Jodi decided she’d get one of the semicolons that several of us already have (including Ang, Tami, and of course, me). She decided to get it behind her ear.

Ames was planning a tattoo for later on (which she came back up to Toronto later that month) but decided that, since we were there already, she’d pierce her nose.

Well, I didn’t want to be the only one NOT getting something that day, so I pulled up my want list and picked the one that held the most meaning for me in the moment.

I should know by now that spur of the moment tattoo plans aren’t the greatest. I didn’t have the art I had worked so hard on with me – only a blurry Instagram picture of it. So I screen shot that and tried to get it big enough to get some detail from. I also did a quick Google search to find some inspiration to add.

That’s what it should have looked like. Meh.

Anyway, against what I should know by now, I went ahead with it. I got a soot sprite (AKA makkuro kurosuke or susuwatari) from my favourite movie, Studio Ghibli’s My Neighbor Totoro. I’ve been trying to get a video clip up on YouTube where they explain what that is for years, but because of copyrights and laziness, it’s not there yet. (If I get around to it, I’ll link it later.) For now, here’s the quote:

“Normally, you can’t see soot gremlins, but every once in awhile, when you go from a bright place to a dark one, you can catch a glimpse of them.”


I like the idea of that – that there are little creatures who exist in the dark spaces that you usually can’t see. So, like Jodi, I also put my tattoo behind my ear. Get it? 😜


It’s not the exact shape I wanted, and it’s a little big, and it does have that “sticker” look that I was trying to avoid… but it’s still cute. And I get compliments on it more than any of the other visible tattoos I have. That always catches me off guard. (There was one time, while I was going down an escalator to catch a subway with my earbuds in and music up loud, that a girl tapped me on the shoulder and pointed behind her ear and gave me a thumbs up. It wasn’t long after I had it done and it took me much longer than it should have to figure out what she meant. LOL.)

I’m now officially on tattoo hiatus. As I wrote exhaustively about before, I have very strong desires to spend a significant amount of time in Japan. Each and every tattoo I get makes that more difficult (covering up wise). Also… *sigh* I’m in a weird brain space lately where I’m not loving any of my tattoos. I’m kind of actually sort of a little bit regretting getting any of them. I don’t think it’s the tattoos themselves but probably more my dissatisfaction with the person I’ve become in the past five or so years. I thought I was headed into a better space, but… I’ve made many choices I’m now pretty unhappy with.  ~Anyway, there will be no more tattoos until I am away from those feelings, obviously.

That’s a sad note to end this on. Welp. What are you gonna do?

The experience of getting the tattoo done with a group of friends continues to be a happy memory and something I don’t regret at all. That’s what matters.

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kmah’s Tips

I have a tip for you. Or maybe it’s a request.

In general, please be kind. Being an asshole doesn’t serve a higher purpose. Ever.

More specifically, when you visit a restaurant, please be aware of your own mood and mindset before you paint the entire experience in your mind. If you are already cranky, odds are, you’re going to be seeing things in a more negative light than might be reality.

Here’s what happened:

My boss came to me this morning and showed me a screen shot of a comment a customer left somewhere online (IDK where exactly) that they wrote last night after visiting the restaurant I work at. It was a long-winded, inflammatory comment accusing me of basically being a terrible employee. They claimed I was complaining about not wanting to work and saying I wanted to go home early while I was emptying the garbage in the front area where they were standing waiting for their food. Then I supposedly went straight from there to bag their order and touched their napkins and forks with my disgusting, garbage-covered hands. They also said they were waiting for over half an hour for their food.

What ACTUALLY happened was that I went to empty the garbage and mentioned to my coworker that I was doing it early because it was slow and there was a possibility we might close early like we had the night before. My complaint was that I wanted to be prepared because I had very little warning the night before and didn’t want to scramble to get everything I need to do done in order to close. (I’d actually much rather stay and keep my hours.) So they overheard part of a conversation between my coworker and I and jumped to conclusions.

To suggest I wouldn’t wash my hands after taking out the garbage is really odd. (Have we met?) The larger kitchen garbage, where I put the bag from the front, is right beside the sink. Why would I not wash my hands right then? Pretty sure I did! Not to mention, it’s behind a wall where the customers standing in the front can’t see around. There is also a cloth I am constantly wiping my hands on after everything I touch. That aside, I didn’t touch any garbage! I’m not shoving my hands into a garbage can. I lifted a practically empty plastic bag out without touching anything. And, I don’t put my hands all over people’s napkins and forks. I barely touch them either. And we don’t touch food AT ALL.

So, to me, that sounds like a miserable person making a judgement about me, looking for something to criticize, picking something and blowing it up to be something it’s not. They were specifically looking for something to be upset about. That’s what bothers me. IF it had been a legitimate complaint, I’d take it. But this was bullshit.

They also definitely did NOT wait half an hour for their food. It was a slow night. They were the only customers there at the time. It takes as long as the food needs to cook for an order to be ready. Saying that is just an example of how when a person is upset at something, when relaying their injustice back later, things are amplified to sound much worse than they are to garner sympathy. I see people do this all the time! (Not meaning just customers, but people in general.)

Anyway, whether they are in the right about me or not, is not my point. My request of people is that, if you feel like you have been wronged somehow or received bad customer service, just stop for a second and try to objectively think about how true it really is and what you hope to achieve by flaming them over social media. Do you want compensation? Do you want the boss to talk to that person so that they can fix their error and/or do better next time? Fine. Do that privately. Or are you trying to start shit and convince other people to boycott the establishment with you? WHY?! What purpose does that serve you? Do you feel better after doing that? Are you just being a nasty person and spreading your miserable attitude around and infecting other people? In this situation, based on the barest partial truth of the matter… sure sounds like it!

Here’s why I’d like everyone to take that moment to consider their actions: Your actions have an impact. When you make complaints like that – which seems to me like the only purpose is to validate your own negativity – you are messing with people’s livelihoods. Most people working jobs like mine need them in order to survive. They are people who serve customers all day long in order to get a pay cheque to pay their bills and take care of their families.

Thankfully, I’m actually pretty good at my job. I do make the occasional mistake from time to time, but I’m only human. And I admit it. So when my boss got this complaint, he was actually very surprised when I told him it was me they were referring to. He took it with a grain of salt at that point. Because it was me, he figured it was the customers who were spouting some crap. Someone else might not have been given the benefit of the doubt.

It’s not for myself that I ask this of you. It’s for those who aren’t superstars but still work hard and rely on their jobs to live. If you NEED to make a complaint, go for it. But first make sure you get all your facts straight and don’t exaggerate to bring others to your side. If your issue is legitimate, you shouldn’t need to.

Basically, don’t be an asshole.


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No Like

Things You Should Be Aware Of If We Are Social Media Friends
(in other words, Why I Don’t “Like” Your Stuff):

1. I will probably never like any animal pictures, your pet or otherwise. Don’t take it personally.

2. I HATE the Boomerang app and refuse to like any post that was created with it, regardless of content.

3. I am annoyed by the style of Tasty videos and won’t like those either, even if I think the recipe looks good.

4. I tend to not check my Instagram feed for several days at a time so when I do, I scroll through so quickly that I miss a lot. Or I just don’t scroll back far enough to see everything I missed.

5. I log in to Facebook with the intent of catching up on my feed but have a reduced attention span and usually give up after a few seconds. I don’t even bother with Twitter anymore.

6. Blame the Facebook and Instagram organizers who arbitrarily decide for me on whose shit to show me and whose never shows up in my feed.

7. I don’t think the like button means “I have been online and am acknowledging that you have also”. I think it means I legitimately LIKE what you have posted.

8. I literally forget to hit like most of the time.


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To PSL or Not to PSL?

I have always been the type of person to hate something outright just because it’s popular. Over the past few years, I’ve been trying to break myself of this tendency towards snap judgements like that. I often use the phrase “50 million Elvis fans can’t be wrong“. If everyone else seems to love something, it must have at least some redeeming qualities, no?


But the REAL reason I try to force myself not to turn up my nose at something just because the mindless masses are all about it is because I “missed out” on the first few years of Twilight fangirling for that very reason. It was everywhere so I avoided it. Then I caved, tried it, loved it, and regretted not falling in sooner. That was a life lesson for me, as dumb as it sounds. Stop being so stubborn!

So, with that mindset, I feel it is my duty to honour my own culture – as a millennial white girl – and NOT take a stance again the ubiquitous pumpkin spice latte. I figure I should probably try it, right? It’s been “a thing” for several years already. Perhaps resistance is futile.


I very recently finally tried chai tea for the first time and am on board with the millions of people who are in league with Oprah, loving the chai. Hot, iced, or in frappuccino form, tap a vein and plug me in. I love that shit.

Since I don’t drink coffee, apart from the occasional mocha, PSL has never really been approachable for me. Alas, Starbucks just introduced a PS Chai with their annual re-release of PSL. I discussed it with a friend (I never take these decisions lightly, you know.) and we agreed that if I am to succumb to pumpkin spice addiction, the chai version is a good gateway drug.

I’m sitting in a Starbucks right now as I write this, sipping on my very first pumpkin spice beverage.

It’s… not bad.


I’ll probably try the latte at some point, just to fully commit to my personal experiment but… Yeah, I don’t get it. I’m not convinced, Elvis-lovers.

I will go back to my regular chai lattes with no regrets.

There is another aspect to this subject. The whole ‘white girls, wearing Uggs, drinking pumpkin spice lattes’ rage that I see all over my social media feeds. What is that?! My Facebook timeline feels like equal parts “I’m so happy PSL is back” and “the obsession with this shit is the downfall of society”. Why the hell does what someone chooses to drink make other people SO angry? I get it that it can be kind of annoying to see a trillion posts about one thing, but this drink seems to make a bunch of people happy. Shouldn’t that be a good thing? They aren’t forcing anyone else to drink it. Why should it matter to the non-PSL drinkers? Just ignore the posts if it bothers you that much.


It’s like hating vegans for the choices they make about what they want to eat or not and making nasty comments to them or belittling them or judging them. Yeah, there are the few that make it difficult for the rest but none of the vegans I have ever met are like that. Same as not all Christians are narrow-minded homophobic racists. Not all Middle Eastern people are terrorists. Not all Twilight fans are psycho celebrity stalkers. Not all [fill in the blank] are [pick a stereotype]. It’s actually an extremely small percentage of any one group to fit a preconceived idea of them. Yet that is how society treats everyone. I hate that.

Wow. That went off on a tangent. (Just accept it. Love me.)

My point… You go ahead, you pumpkin spice loving enthusiasts, and spread your joy and passion all over the internet. You won’t hear any complaints about it from me.

And haters, sit the fuck down and shut up. Channel that conviction into something you love rather than giving someone shit for talking about what they like. We don’t all need to agree. Don’t be stupid.


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Love and Loss

Sometimes, I say too much. I’ve always been a reflective (self-obsessed) person and I’m very open and honest about my shortcomings. I usually think the worst of myself and am very blunt and brutal when I talk about my own behaviour. I am finally beginning to realize that it can be very off-putting for other people to listen to my self-flagellation. I never really understood that. I guess because the reasons I freely shared those things was not for someone to correct me or turn it back around and compliment me. I was never fishing. And in fact, I’m quite uncomfortable when someone disagrees with my negative view of myself. I suppose I was just putting my thoughts out there as a way to release them from my mind and have someone understand.

More and more, I have come to find that we aren’t supposed to do that. And people don’t understand because I seem to be alone in how I feel about myself and the willingness (or even need) to share it. Most people don’t like to see themselves that way or try to hide it.

When I was younger, I spouted off stuff like that (and other inappropriate things) all the time. As I grew up, I started noticing other’s unfavourable reactions and tried to rein it in. I don’t think I figured out the why part until much later in life, and am still struggling with that. All I knew was that I shouldn’t talk so much, especially about myself.

I learned to be silent.

I gradually stopped telling people how I felt about anything. This has ended up hurting me much more than having some people misunderstand me. At least I had had a handful of people who sort of got me, even if they didn’t fully get my feelings. It’s gotten to the point where I have distanced myself so much from others that when something actually matters, there are only a few people I feel I could turn to.

I lost many friendships. I let a lot of really great people leave my life. I didn’t get rid of friends because I didn’t like them. There were no big fights. I just slowly let them fade away until we didn’t have contact anymore. I did that because I didn’t know how to keep talking. It was never for my benefit, always the other person’s. I didn’t want to make anyone else uncomfortable by forcing my presence on them.

I’ve done this to so many people over the years. One particular case stands out and hurts me the most.


Tara was my best friend in high school. We were pretty much inseparable. I even lived at her house for my last few months before graduating. Her family was like my other family (and in some ways, I was closer to hers than my own). She was like a sister.

After high school, I moved away but we still talked almost every day. We did our best to stay close and keep each other up to date about what was going on in our lives. But over the years, we slowly began drifting apart. We stopped calling each other, we made seeing each other less and less of a priority. It got to the point where we would only send a message or two back and forth once every few years.

I guess that happens with a lot of friendships, but I feel like the reason why is different. I could legitimately say that we just grew up and developed different daily lives and drifted naturally. That’s true. And I am okay with the fact that our priorities changed and other people became more important. But if feels like there was more than that. I always felt like she was upset with me for being such a crappy friend and that she didn’t want to make any more effort if I wasn’t reciprocating. I felt like it was all my fault and if I had only called her back, we’d still be in each other’s lives.

I know this is an immature viewpoint and that I’m probably being a lot harder on myself than reality demands. But I still feel it and can’t help it.

I would often think of Tara and want to check in with her to see how she was doing and what was going on with her, but for reasons I don’t really understand yet, I felt insecure and uncertain of how my messages would be received so I hardly ever did it. I reasoned that if she wanted to hear from me, she’d ask. That if I left the last message, not to bug her again until she responded. I felt like I should reach out, but rarely did and always felt guilty about that. I was sad that I didn’t really know her as an adult. I loved and missed my friend but I didn’t say so. Now I don’t have that chance.

Tara was diagnosed with breast cancer a few years ago. Although we all know cancer is serious, due to the fact that her mom also had cancer several years ago and was fine, I guess I just thought she would be okay. And she was, for awhile. She was in remission for what seemed to me to be a long time.

And then she messaged me at the end of February – only 5 months ago – that the cancer was back and had spread and she was now Stage 4. You hear that and the fear floods through you. We know Stage 4 is not something people live with very long. But the thing about Tara is that she is ferociously positive and it’s infectious. She knew that her time was limited but I don’t think anyone realized how quick her time would pass.

Her battle with cancer ended one week ago.

And now I realize, too late, that regret is a horrible, horrible thing to live with.


I was taken aback at how intense the sadness immediately hit me. I was devastated. Even though I knew it was coming eventually, since we hadn’t been close for the last 10 years or so, I thought, sure, I’d be sad –  but I had no idea just how sad. I was not prepared for the effect her death would have.

I felt like a complete asshole for wallowing in how it affected ME when there were so many people who were still in her life that would be altered completely – her husband, her children, her parents and her brother, and all the friends she was still close to. I felt like I had lost the right to be as sad as I was because I hadn’t made an effort when she was alive. I wasted all this time. I didn’t even tell her when she was sick how much I missed her or how I felt about it. I kept my mouth shut. I think that’s the worst part – she died not knowing that I even cared at all. I hate it and I have to live with that regret now for the rest of my life.


I guess it’s human nature to make shitty things into something we can learn from. I know now how awful it feels to have something you truly regret and wish you could fix but the person is gone. I want to do whatever it takes so that I never feel this again. People in my life will continue to die but I can see now that it must be easier to let them go if you have a good relationship with them rather than to have your grief added to with all the things you left unsaid.


Just a few days before she died, she left these words. She knew the most important lesson of life and shared it with everyone. I’ve taken these words to heart and will be doing my best to live better.

weddingtara 3.jpgtara 2swing

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The First 30


To start my happy days challenge, I wanted to take a picture of the one thing (person) that always makes me happy in any situation and, truthfully, is the only reason I’m still alive a lot of the time. My husband.

I also wanted to do something fun so after work, he picked me up and took me out for bubble tea. I’m sure everyone who reads this will also already be fully aware of my love for bubble tea. We actually went to a place I hadn’t been before, on the recommendation of my coworker. Bubble Tease is the chain that’s found in malls and generally isn’t the greatest. I was unaware that they even had standalone locations until I saw one downtown on Dundas Street. I had no idea there was one in Mississauga but my coworker promised me that it was good, so we decided to “try something new”.

So, day 1 combined two of my favourites. Just look at that face! How can you not love him?! 😛


I noticed the other day on Facebook that multiple people were talking about the TV show 13 Reasons Why. I knew it was a book – back when I was writing about reading more, I had gone to Chapters with my friend Abbygail and she pointed it out as one she had read – but I didn’t know they had made a show based on it. When I heard about the book, I looked it up to see what it was about. I read through the entire Wikipedia page and thought that was enough for me – reading the synopsis rather than the entire book. There was nothing in the chapter summaries that jumped out that made me think I wanted to know more about that. But there were alllllll these posts on Facebook about how great the show was and how everyone should see it. I didn’t want to read it but I could envision it being interesting to watch. I was bored and didn’t want to go to bed just yet, so I decided to check it out.

OMG. So good! And yes, everyone should see it. I actually think it should be something they show in high schools to all students. Suicide is a topic that should be talked about openly. I myself have a million opinions about it~ but I shall spare you and won’t get into them here.

I started the first episode just before midnight. I ended up staying up until like 5:30 or something and then went to bed for a few hours and then came back and watched the rest all day long. The reason it made me so happy to find a TV show I loved so much was because that’s so rare for me! I am so intensely picky about what appeals to me and I lose interest so quickly.

It was a nice way to spend my day off, marathoning a great TV show, eating the leftover piece of Truffle Royale cake I got from Bubble Tease yesterday, and, as always, there’s the ever-present cup of tea.

Plus, I love my living room. I am proud of the way it turned out after we finally painted and got that wall unit. It’s so comfy in there.


It was so nice out. Cloudy and cool. Perfect. Most people enjoy sunshine and warm weather, but I am NOT looking forward to the return of summer. I wish it would stay like this all the time.

After work, I decided that I would take advantage of the weather and go for a walk. There is a pond and a wooded area behind a school not too far from our house so I thought I’d go explore that area further and see what was there. I was delighted to find out there is a paved trail following a creek that leads all the way through this area of the city. I hopped on just behind the pond and followed it for about an hour to see just how far it went. It just so happens to lead almost directly to where I transfer buses for work. I made a plan that I would use this trail for my walks home – much more scenic and peaceful than the busy street.

Even still, I can’t describe how or why it made me so happy, but I was smiling and practically skipping the entire time. Something about being with nature, even just that little bit, is so relaxing and to find something like that so close to home and in a direction I go so often just seemed perfect.

I ended up posting a whole bunch of pictures into an album on Facebook, so if we are friends, you can look at those for more views of the trail, if you’re interested.


I started selling my Twilight-inspired crafty things on Etsy a few years ago as a way to help fund my trips to do Twilight-related things. I made quite a few sales right away which helped out tremendously. There was a point where I had more orders than I had time to make and had to turn some down. It’s something I like doing, but at one point, with the extras I was making to take with me to sell in person as well, it was getting to be where I was sick of it. Each one is a lot of work! So I stopped ‘pimping myself out’ and the sales tapered off. Every once in awhile though, three years later, I still get the occasional order. Since they are spread out now, I am back to enjoying it. Doing one at a time, here and there, is nice. And I’m always grateful for the few extra dollars.

This particular sale I pictured made me smile because the buyer lives in the town I lived when I was little. It’s a small world.


I pretty much explained everything about Kawehi in the caption, but the whole day was a happy day. Hubby and I went downtown and we had bubble tea twice – first at Gong Cha, then again at Chatime, he had ramen and I had gyudon at Sansotei, I got my favourite treat and a matcha latte at Tsujiri, and we stopped by the Toronto sign. It’s always a fun time with him, no matter what we do.

Kawehi herself is adorable. I have been following her a bit on YouTube, Facebook, and Instagram since I saw that Nirvana video posted on one of those sites… Buzzfeed or something. I like that she’s who she is without apology. Not that she should have to apologize for anything because she’s not abrasive or controversial. She’s just a “little girl” with a potty mouth and likes to turn famous songs into something new and make them her own, and for some reason, some people have a problem with that.

Because I wanted to document it for Happy Days, we waited around after the show to get a picture with her. I briefly explained it to her and then we had an epic mini-photoshoot. She was hilarious and awesome.

(P.S. The date on this one is off because I posted it at 12:05am. We had to wait to talk to her for quite awhile.)


Another perfect weather day. I’m relishing the temperature and gloominess for as long as it lasts, because I know it won’t be long before I feel like dying in the heat and sunshine.

For the entire day, I sat at my kitchen table, working on my blog and organizing my iTunes while taking long stretches of time just staring out the window, watching the rain. I LOVE rain. I love the sound of rain, the smell of earth when it rains, the colour of the sky when it rains, the sound of tires splashing rain on the street… I love lazy days when I can do all the things I enjoy that “waste time”. I love sitting and staring at nothing, drinking my tea, and being contemplative about life.


I’m really, really lazy when it comes to getting my hair cut. It had been almost a full year since I cut it last. Luckily, my hair is pretty healthy so I guess I can get away with it. It was pretty gross at the ends though. And getting too long again! Since I’m not growing it to donate it this time (too much dyeing going on), I can keep it at whatever length I want. I think it looks best when it’s just below my shoulder blades. The actual process of getting my haircut is extremely unenjoyable for me. I don’t know how people find going to the salon a relaxing thing to do. First of all, the salon is always too bright and too noisy. Then you have to feel awkward making conversation with the stylist. Plus having her all up in my personal space for an hour or two (no matter how nice she is)… It’s draining for me. But the end result is worth it. I like how the cut ended up and left feeling pretty pleased.

Instead of taking the picture at the actual salon (‘cause I probably just forgot to), I took it right in the middle of the mall, with a bunch of people staring at me, presumably judging me, for having a selfie session. But the “chandelier” behind me changes colours and it’s so pretty! So screw them and their shifty eyeballs.


Hubby called me at work in the morning. He was so excited. For those that don’t know, it’s really hard to get tickets for Comic Con. They are given out on a lottery basis. You have to sit in a virtual waiting room and hope you’re going to be able to buy some. I don’t really understand how it works but usually people only get them for one of the days. Hubby “won” the ability to get us tickets for all 5 days. So we’re going to San Diego in July! (For his sake, I’m going to be excited about it and not try to worry too much about how hot it’s going to be.) And I’ll get to see some friends there too, so that will be great.

Hubby asked me what I was going to cosplay as and I laughed in his face. (He was just kidding, ‘cause he knows me. Haha.) I DO NOT, as a rule, dress up. Ever. That’s why I’m wearing a Rilakkuma kigurumi onesie in the picture. To be funny.

I mentioned in the caption how I don’t believe in luck. I think this is going to needs its own blog post at some point. For now, I stand by that statement and I’ll just say that it’s not luck, it’s perspective. I have been working my butt off to see everything in a positive light lately, especially since doing the happy days challenge. I believe that when you put positivity out into the world, it comes back to you. This is one of those instances when something good happened and I feel like it was like a karmic reward.


I said it all in the caption. Change your perspective, change your life.


Vacation! I don’t work that hard, so it’s not like I need a vacation from work but just a vacation from the norm is nice. And necessary. A change in scenery and schedule is a break from the monotony of life and sometimes seems like all that’s worth living for.

Before I went to Japan last time, I am somewhat ashamed to say I had never had actual sushi before. Just the westernized things, like California rolls. Never anything with raw fish. I grew up hating fish (force-feeding is a horrible thing!) and assumed raw fish would be even worse than cooked. BUT~ since I also grew up hating steak and it’s now my favourite thing and because of my experience with avoiding things for stupid reasons (like Twilight), I decided to try it. I had some salmon nigiri at Genki Sushi in Tokyo and was pleasantly surprised. I don’t think I could work in a Japanese restaurant and not feel like a fraud if I didn’t actually eat sushi. Since working here, I’ve tried many things I would have passed up before because they looked or sounded gross. In my experience, you miss out on some great things that way… Just sayin’. It’s gotten to the point where I not only know which fish I like raw and don’t but also how I like them prepared. My current favourite is just plain old salmon as nigiri with no wasabi. (Haven’t gotten to the point where I appreciate wasabi yet.) No soy sauce, no ginger. Just the salmon and a bit of rice. Yum.

I’m not just being biased when I say that Toshi has the best sushi in Brampton. (I’d even say all of the GTA, but I haven’t tried enough restaurants downtown to be sure.) It’s really good. High quality fish, well prepared by experienced chefs with attention to detail. I wanted to have a little treat on my way out the door because over the next 3 weeks, I’m sure I’ll miss it.


I love having all my favourite colours in my hair. It’s just so much work so I don’t touch it up often. Something about looking at those colours in combination makes me happy. Like a mermaid or a peacock or something. So pretty. I wish it would last but I know they’ll start to fade in less than a week.

For those that are curious, I used six different Manic Panic dyes: Green Envy, Enchanted Forest, Siren Song, Electric Lizard, Atomic Turquoise and Purple Haze.


It’s going to be a super busy trip. Our first stop is Winnipeg. Nephie and SIL are getting baptized on Easter and we want to be there for them. There is always way more to squeeze in to our visits to WPG and we never get to it all. I do have to go out to Morden to see my parents and my sister and her kids (and have a filling repaired). From there, we are flying out to Edmonton to see Hubby’s dad and other sister and her kids. Both FIL and my nephew have birthdays then. And THEN, the part I’m most looking forward to, Hubby and I are going by ourselves to Jasper National Park to spend a few days surrounded by gorgeous nature and celebrating our ten years married together. Then back to Edmonton for a few more days before we return home. It should be lots of fun.


One thing I always manage to fit into my Winnipeg trips is meeting up with my friend Courtney (because she leaves me no choice! LOL) and going to Kawaii Crepe, one of my favourite places for a delicious crepe and bubble tea. It’s usually just CW, Nephie and I, but for once, we had Hubby join us. I always get the same thing – a ‘make your own’ crepe with banana, condensed milk, and chocolate chips and I usually pair that with lychee bubble tea. CW always gets honeydew. Always. I don’t think she’s even tried any other flavours in the whole 15-20 years we’ve been drinking it. I like her consistency.


Years and years ago, I was introduced to bubble tea. It sparked an immediate and intense, lifelong love affair. Shortly afterwards, I introduced my friend Courtney and together, we sought out whatever we could in Winnipeg. Then I met Hubby and introduced him. We started in WPG and moved together to discover many bubble tea places in the Toronto area. There, we introduced SIL to bubble tea too. (There have been a ton of other people who we have pushed our bubble tea love on, some successfully, some not so much.) Years later, Nephie came along and we started dragging him with us out to various bubble tea establishments with us. Today, Hubby, SIL, Nephie and I went to a Chatime in WPG and each had our favourites. Neph Jr. was with us. He is not the kind of person you can push anything on to. He’ll try it if he wants to but more often than not, you can delicately suggest something to him, but he’ll turn you down flat. Today, he was more amenable to try something new because he was the only one in a group that didn’t have something. He had his very first bubble tea this morning. It was a proud auntie moment. (I doubt he’ll get another one again for at least a really long time, but that’s not the point right now.)


Nephie and SIL got baptized today. They were both really excited about it and I know it means a lot to them. I have my own issues with church and religion and all of that, but that wouldn’t stop me from being there for them for something that was that important to them.

I am so proud of Nephie and all he is learning about himself and the world. That’s truly one fantastic kid and I’m looking forward to knowing the man he grows into.


We went out to Denny’s for Easter breakfast with SIL and her family. I ate so much and was so satisfyingly full. Then we spent a quiet day at their house before my parents came to pick us up and take us out to their house in Morden. Lots of quality family time spent on this trip!


I only get to spend a day or two with my sister each year. I miss her so much! She’s so fun and my favouritest human on the planet (right up there with Hubby). Time with her is always so short but I look forward to it and relish every moment.

We went bowling with her and her kids. It was a blast. They are all so funny and cute – and really great kids! Well done, B! You are raising some wonderful little humans.


Hubby and I were surprised how often we were able to go for bubble tea on our trip. Winnipeg has way more options than it did when I lived there. I think we were able to have at least one every single day so far. (Don’t judge me. I’m on vacation.) We went out with Nephie and SIL (and Neph Jr. but this time he just had apple juice. LOL) for one last bubble tea before we move on to Edmonton to see other SIL and her side. I had never been to Panda Tea before. It was really good.


We went out for a yummy steak dinner with SIL, BIL, Nephew and FIL to celebrate two birthdays. Nephew’s was on the 16th and FIL’s on the 17th. I cannot believe how huge Nephew is every time I see him. I wonder if he’s going to stop growing anytime soon.


Awhile ago, probably somewhere around the time I became obsessed with nature and hiking, I added a new point to my bucket list, which is to see all of Canada’s National Parks. We went to Banff 2 years ago and I grew up going to Clear Lake in Riding Mountain National Park. Now we’ve added Jasper to my completed list. There are 39 altogether – a lot left to get to but that gives me a lot to look forward to.

Jasper is really beautiful. It’s still mostly covered in snow and we weren’t expecting that, but that also gives us a reason to come back someday so we can see it looking different in the summer as well. It’s nice now because it’s not too crowded and not too hot to walk around and see everything.

In the picture, we are standing on a bridge in Maligne Canyon. I wish photography could accurately capture what I see with my eyes because this view was stunning. Depth is one of my favourite aspects of nature and it just doesn’t come across in the picture. It’s still gorgeous though.


A few months ago when we were trying to decide how to spend our 10 year anniversary, we came up with the plan to go to Jasper National Park. Our actual anniversary is May 5th but since we were already heading to Winnipeg for the baptism, we decided we would save airfare by flying directly to Edmonton from Winnipeg instead of going home in between the two trips. It meant going 2 weeks earlier than our anniversary, but that doesn’t really matter. We still spent this special time together celebrating us. It was wonderful to be together and doing new things as a couple.

This particular picture was taken in front of Athabasca Falls which was probably my favourite location within Jasper. So gorgeous, even 95% still frozen. It’s a place I had seen in pictures awhile ago and had hoped to eventually see it person. Mission complete. And sharing it with my number one person made it even better.


Hubby wasn’t sold on the idea of ‘hiking’ when I suggested it, but~ he loves me and wanted to make me happy so he agreed to this whole trip thing. We had driven past Maligne Lake and saw that it was still frozen over and completely covered with snow so we were going to skip it but part of me wanted to go and walk the trail around it anyway, just to say I’d been. It’s actually quite difficult walking a footprint-wide path in the snow, but we made it out to the first lookout point. We saw a few interesting things and had a lot of laughs. It was a wonderful afternoon, in my opinion. I’m glad we did it.


We were going to go to Elk Island, another National Park, but it was like a blizzard outside so that ruined that plan. Instead, we just spent a quiet day with SIL’s family, which included bubble tea. I can never say no to that.


When we were in Winnipeg, we brought Nephie his birthday gift (even though that’s not until November). He had been reading the Tokyo Ghoul comics and was really into it so Hubby thought he might like the anime too. He’s only 13 and Hubby had heard it was pretty graphic (neither of us knew anything about it) so he checked with SIL that it was okay for him to watch it. She gave the go ahead so we got him the first season. After we gave it to him, we cracked it open and tested out the first episode. We quickly realized within the first few minutes that the anime version was absolutely unsuitable for him. I think he felt bad saying so but his discomfort was all over his face. (I felt so bad!) Hubby is awesome and so easily said not to worry, that we’d take it home and keep it for ourselves, and take him out the next day to buy him something else. We took him to Toys R Us and let him wander around to find something else he wanted. He was just going to get some Pokémon cards but instead ended up picking out the Empire version of Monopoly. We ended up playing it all night and had so much fun. Hubby and I liked it so much that we wanted to get one for ourselves. We’re into playing games and have game nights with family every time we visit as well as with a few friends anytime they come over. We decided to wait until we got to Edmonton to buy it (to save room in our suitcases which we still laden with gifts to deliver for (other) nephew and Niecey’s birthdays) and introduce it to them as well.

We own several different versions of Monopoly – most are just themed versions of the original but a few are condensed, “easier” versions for kids with various themes. Apart from original Monopoly, Empire is our favourite by far. It is easier (or at least quicker) than regular Monopoly but has its own complex rules. It’s a unique twist to the original and it’s really fun. It’s based more on chance and less on skill so I’m actually not always the loser either. 😛


Niecey started dance when she was pretty little – maybe 6 or 7? She started going to a dance school that is pretty intense. She does all different kids (ballet, jazz, modern, etc.) and goes to lessons several times a week and to many camps throughout the year. When she was little, it was cute to watch, as little kids often are. As she’s gotten older, I can see a real talent emerge. I hadn’t seen her dance in person for several years so I was absolutely blown away when Hubby and I accompanied SIL to pick her up from her class and caught the practice for a routine her class will be performing in an upcoming show. Her movements are so precise and exact and she’s so graceful and elegant. I took dance for a few years when I was a bit younger than she is now but I was never even close to half as good as she is. I think she could have a future as a professional dancer if she wanted it. It was a treat to watch her and I wish I had the opportunity to watch her perform on stage in person.

Hubby said that the routine, which was modern choreography set to emotional music, actually brought tears to his eyes. And he’s not a crier. Neither of us are really, but I knew exactly what he felt. It was powerful and Niecey is captivating.


By the end of a long(ish) trip, I am always ready to go home. I had a good time, of course, and I am not looking forward to going back to the drudgery of everyday life, but I am looking forward to getting back to my comfort. My home is my sanctuary from the parts of the world that hurt me or overwhelm me.


I think I’ve tried to talk about this before~  It seems simple enough that I just came back from vacation, am tired, and was glad I could spend the day in my bed, catching up. But it goes deeper than that. I am very blessed to be in a position that I can sleep all day if I want to. Hubby is the “bread winner” in our family. I work but only part time and make peanuts in comparison. I’m not really helping. And for many years, I didn’t work at all. One thing I’ve always been aware of and always grateful for was how unusual that is and how, dare I say, lucky I am that I am not in a position where I have to work full time. And it’s a good thing for ME especially. I have… issues. I think if I absolutely had to work FT hours every day, like most adults… I think it might crush me. I honestly don’t think I could do it at this point. Even though I am working a little bit now, I still have my days where I can spend them doing nothing. I need that. It keeps me from freaking out and ending up hospitalized. So, not only catching up on sleep made me happy but having that luxury where I could is so appreciated. It’s never something I take for granted.


After my fun-filled holiday, where it was easy to find things to post about for Happy Days, my first day back at work was not easy. My job itself is not difficult and, for where I am in my life right now, it’s ideally suited to me. I still don’t want to work though. Like most people, I think, I’d really rather not. I try to stay positive and focus on the good things, but I can’t help wishing things were different sometimes.

I came home from work, feeling low, and just wanted to lie on the couch and do nothing. I couldn’t think of anything really that would be a good option for HD and I was tired and sore and cranky. Hubby didn’t protest when I asked him to rub my achy feet for me. He hates doing it and often refuses because he’s also tired and sore, but I think he realized how I was feeling and put his own feelings aside for me to help me out. I was so grateful. It had to be my picture for the day, even though I hate feet. Haha.


Oatmeal is yummy and I’ve become obsessed with it lately. It makes a great, quick breakfast.

I was so impressed with myself for getting up early and leaving time to eat and relax for a few minutes before I started my day. It might sound strange but I’ve always had this vision/fantasy thing where I’m a responsible, “normal” adult who wakes up in the morning, sits down at the table, eats breakfast and has a cup of tea and spends those few minutes collecting myself on a regular basis. One might say, ‘if you want to do that, then just do it’. Why do I have to just dream about it? Yeah, well, crack my head open with a shrink and maybe you’ll find an answer to why I can just seem to do so many of the things I want to! (I hate to be cryptic in my blog posts and say this so often, but this is something I actually want to touch on at some point in the future. I’ve come to realize a whole bunch of things about myself in the last year specifically that all relate to the same thing… but I’m not at a point where I can comfortably share yet.) Such a mundane thing but to me, it was special.


I love cherry blossoms. Of course, they are a Japanese thing but I also love what they symbolize – the impermanence of life and how fleeting beauty is. Sakura also hold memories for me of the times Hubby and I spent in Japan. But, Japan aside, they are just really pretty. I can’t believe I have lived here for so long and never realized there are many parks that have annual sakura viewing events. High Park is probably the most publicized of those. I kept seeing posts on Facebook of people enjoying the blossoms while we were still away on our vacation and I was worried that they’d be gone by the time I had a chance to see them. Even the night before we went, there was a huge rain storm that had knocked down a good portion. We got there just in time to see the last of them on the trees. I wasn’t expecting it to be as good as it turned out to be.

Hubby and I spent the morning walking through the sakura (there’s an album on Facebook if you want to see more) and then went out for lunch at my favourite restaurant. A lovely day.

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I Did It!

You know how mothers always say that they have a second (or third, whatever) child two years after the first because it took them that long to forget how difficult it was? Yeah, apparently the 100 Happy Days challenge is like that too. I forgot how hard it was! But, I’m done. I finished up my last day a week ago, but let me tell you, it was a struggle. Like last time, some days are easy. You go out, do something fun and snap a picture. But there are days when you just go to work and come home and just want to crash. Or there are days when you spend the entire time in your jammies and do nothing at all.

I could legitimately just take 100 pictures of tea and call it a success – a good cup of tea always brings me joy. Or take 100 pictures of Hubby. He knows how day-to-day life can be especially difficult for me and always tries to make me smile. But, like with most things, I have to make things harder than they need to be. I was challenging myself to do 100 unique things. And I had to post them all by midnight. And they had to be of things that happened that day. And I had to make the pictures somewhat interesting. *Sigh*

Whatever. I finished it. I knew I would complete the challenge but I also figured I’d cheat or compromise what I was trying to do just to get it done. Yay for me for not doing that, I guess.

Looking back on it now, I’m not sure it was as beneficial for me as it was the first time around. It was good to have that refresher of looking for things daily to be happy about, but the first time, that was a totally new concept to me and, I didn’t realize until this time, I actually adopted that practice fairly well and honestly do it without really thinking. I am, in general, a much happier person than I used to be. Not perfect, of course. And of course I still do have really shitty days. But I think, even in my darkest moments, I have perspective now that I didn’t have several years ago. The bad days are temporary.

So it wasn’t life-altering in the way it had been in 2014. And, because of those criteria I imposed on myself so rigidly, I actually created a certain amount of stress in my life that I didn’t need. Nothing horrible, but the extra stress was unnecessary and avoidable. (Hubby and I both agree that I won’t be doing this challenge again. If I ever attempt a happiness challenge again in the future, it’ll be something different.)

Don’t misunderstand me. The 100HDC is a fantastic thing and, if you’re up for it, I think everybody should try it. Once. The benefits doing it the first time were amazing. For me, the second time – not a waste of time, but not as great.

Yeah, I accomplished what I set out to do, and that feels nice. I learned a few more things about myself too. But I’m just not feeling as thrilled as I was before. That could also have to do with where I am mentally lately… IDK.

I guess, essentially, once I learn a life lesson, mini-refreshers would be a better idea than going through the whole thing again. Those 100 days could have been better spent trying something new.  Which will be where I focus my attention next! I’m sure I’ll share a ton about it when I figure out precisely what that is going to be, but I have a few ideas…  (Update: Wish I knew what those ideas were now, ’cause I have no clue!)

Anyway~ Pretty much everyday, there was always way more involved in each picture than what I briefly shared on Instagram/Facebook. Some days, I was wordier than others but usually was quite short, if not only a couple words. It can always just be assumed that, with each and every single thing I do or say (or don’t do or say), there is a list of carefully thought out reasons why, usually multi-layered and complex. Oh yeah, I’m tiramisu! Ha. The sad state of my existence is that, 95% of the time, I’m the only one who is aware of it.

I’m rambling…  Stay on target!

So. Originally, I was going to post longer explanations of what each picture meant to me. That didn’t happen. Whether it was laziness or being busy doing other things or I got distracted or just moved on to the next day… Whatever. I’m going to do it now, but in chunks. I’ve got the first 30 days done and then second half started. I’ll post the first now and you can just sit tight for then rest. It probably won’t take me a year, but I make no promises.


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My friends Abbygail and Elana are getting married in September (I’m a brides”maid” – bridesmatron? IDK) and they made a YouTube channel that I accidentally found, even though I wasn’t supposed to. When I told Abbygail I found it and was watching the videos, she got mad. Haha. Oops. She made me promise not to watch anymore – some secrets were being talked about that I wasn’t supposed to know yet… Shhh. I still watch some, but don’t worry, dear friend – I promised not to watch the vlog ones. I’m only watching the Q&A ones. Everyone knows I love quizzes. Today, they posted a new one. Here~

Fun! I wanna play…

1. What was your first job?

I was a cashier at a Pharmasave in Winnipeg. I didn’t work at all until I had graduated from high school. You know, didn’t wanna get in the way of all that studying that never happened. Unless you count babysitting. I did that a lot in high school (and before that too). I ended up quitting after 8 months because I was held up and it was a terrible job. My next job after that “changed my life”. I started working for the woman who helped me quash a lot of bad habits and introduced me to her brother… and ended up becoming my SIL.


2. What was your first car?

I never drove but I DID have a car. My dad bought our neighbour’s car that sat in their driveway for years. He said he bought it for me to use when I finally got my licence. That never happened. I drove it once or twice. It was a 1982 baby blue Ford Escort. I called it the Myrth Mobile ‘cause I thought it looked like the Gremlin in Wayne’s World. (It didn’t really.)


3. Who was the first person you texted today?

I haven’t texted anyone today. I don’t text much. The first people I had cyber-contact with today though were my friends Ang, Jodi, Ames, Deena & Tami through a Facebook post comment. Then Brina in a PM on GroupMe. It’s been a quiet day.

4. Who was the first person you thought of today?

Not sure. Myself? Haha. I had weird dreams and was mad at my subconscious for coming up with them and yelled at myself for it when I woke up. Then probably the people who were in my Facebook notifications.

5. Who was your first grade teacher?

Mrs. DeLuigi – she was a cranky lady.

6. Where did you go on your first airplane ride?

Hmm. I’m not sure actually. I know we took a family trip to Myrtle Beach/South Carolina/some other places in the area but I don’t know where we flew to. I think I was 4 or 5.

myrtle beach.jpg

I used to get so excited about going on airplanes when I was little. My parents did a good job at making it seem special. I kept that way of thinking until my late teens or early adulthood – taking a ride on a plane meant you were getting to do something fun. Then I realized that sometimes, planes take you to places you don’t want to be. And even when I’m very happy to be going somewhere, air travel is a hassle and planes are gross and confining. Oh, to be a child again…

7. Who was your first best friend? Do you still talk to them?

I’m not sure who I would consider my first best friend. I guess I could say Matthew. His mom was my mom’s friend and we played together a lot and I actually liked him – ‘cause he let me boss him around. There was another boy named Christopher that we also played with but he had a temper and we fought a lot. He bit me once. But those kids were just friendships of circumstance and had no real meaning to me. I had a few more circumstantial friends (parent’s friend’s kids) I liked playing with throughout the years but either I moved or they moved away after short periods of time. I also played with the girl across the street a lot when I lived in Ambridge, but we also fought a ton and most of the time, I didn’t like her.

I suppose my first real best friend was Becca. Her dad lived in the ‘community’ we did and he had his two daughters every other weekend. Becca was my age and we got along. We sang songs we made up into tape recorders and made plans to be in a band together when we were older. She’s actually an opera singer now, which is super cool that she followed that singing dream somewhat. (We moved away when I was 11 but our parents kept in touch for awhile and their dad brought her and her sister on a trip up to see us when I was 17. We were both taking voice lessons and singing opera and broadway stuff at that time and were both planning on similar careers. Separately, we had both gone in similar directions. I, however, dropped off of that path, as I do with most things that require a ton of commitment and practice. I’m glad one of us stuck with it.)

My first best friend that followed the typical best friend formula pattern was Meaghan. We met in grade 6 when I started at yet another new school but we didn’t like each other right away. It was classmate situations that threw us together and we realized we were pretty similar and became fairly inseparable for awhile. (In case you haven’t noticed, I don’t keep friendships going for a long time. One day, I might talk about that a little more…)

This is one of those things I really love Facebook for~ (although I equally hate it for other things). When I first joined FB, I became obsessive about “collecting” friends but also strangely discerning. Even now, I will never accept a friend request from someone I haven’t met in person. In the beginning, I would sit there and look up pretty much every person I could remember – and I (used to) have an odd memory where I remember the first and last names (and usually birthdays) of everyone I had ever been friends with, even fleetingly. So, almost all the people I mentioned or referred to without naming, I am Facebook friends with (except “the girl who lived across the street” and Matthew – we WERE friends when I looked him up but he didn’t really remember me and ended up deleting me not long afterwards. That’s another thing I might write about at some point in time…  Not being unfriended! Hahaha. Just my experience with memory and how things like finding someone on Facebook that I remembered and they didn’t really remember me was one of those things that points out how I can be …different). So, to sum up this exceedingly long answer, yes I am ‘in contact’ with some of these people but only in the very loosest sense of the word.

8. Where was your first sleepover?

Umm… I can’t remember a sleepover that was, like, a friend inviting me to sleep over just for fun rather than because I needed a place to sleep overnight (like babysitting) as a kid. And when I was young, I got terrible anxiety about being away from home. Even though I wanted to go to friends’ houses, I would get panic attacks. (I remember my friend Adam’s mom having to take me home in the middle of the night because I was so upset, I vomited.) The first sleepover I can actually remember in that case was with Meaghan and I was probably already 12 or so. I wasn’t allowed to have sleepovers much. That particular rite of passage thing was denied me! LOL. (But maybe that was because of my behaviour when I was little.) I had to go through such a rigorous application process to be allowed to go to friends’ houses, as did they and their parents. It was so embarrassing that it almost wasn’t worth it. Almost. But the prospect of staying home until I moved out motivated me to put up with it.

9. What was your first concert?

Going along with the whole not allowed to do anything ever, I am embarrassed to say my first concert – that wasn’t kids music, like Sharon, Lois & Bram or Fred Penner or something  – was Weird Al Yankovic. My friend Tara’s dad got free tickets from a client at work and took me with them.

weird al.jpg

10. What was the first bone you broke?

I have never broken a bone. I hope never to break that streak either.

11. What was your first piercing?

My ears. Not until I was 12. Again. Never allowed to do anything. PIERCINGS ARE THE DEVIL’S WORK! Ha. I begged for years to be allowed but, no, I had to wait, but my sister, who was only 8 then, had hers pierced at the same time. So as not to completely vilify my parents, I should say that my mom’s excuse for this was that she thought I would pick at the holes and they’d get really infected and never heal. This was actually a legitimate concern since I used to have a pretty severe issue with skin-picking. But when I put my mind to something, I can overcome almost any bad habit I have. True to my word, when she finally relented, I didn’t touch them and they healed up really quickly and I never had a problem with them (until a few years ago, on an unrelated issue! Haha). In fact, all of my piercings have healed beautifully and super quickly.

12. What was your first detention?

Actual detention, like after school hours, I’m unsure. I got in trouble A LOT when I was in school – all through school, from Kindergarten, right up until Grade 13. In high school, I had detention a few times, almost always for being late so frequently. In elementary, I got lines, extra assignments, sitting out of things that were supposed to be fun but I was actually grateful to miss out on, etc.~ all for talking too much.

I think my first real detention was in grade 6. During baseball in gym class, some other girl and I were sitting on the bench trying to avoid our turn at bat and were bored. We drew little penises between our legs on the bench. Our teacher was sooooooo angry. We had to stay after school for a detention and erase them from the benches. Thank goodness we had used pencil. I can understand why she was upset now but at the time, her anger seemed unreasonable. Now the whole situation is hilarious to me.

13. Who was your first celebrity crush?

Michael J. Fox probably. I was 6. We didn’t have a TV for a long time, then had one briefly and I discovered Family Ties. I wanted to marry Alex P. Keaton. Of course, I was 6 so I had no idea what that actually meant. Someone probably just mentioned that he was Canadian so I liked him. (We were living in PA at the time and I was a very patriotic Canadian ex-pat.)


Joe McIntyre was the next I can think of. I was hardcore obsessed with NKOTB.

14. What was your first road trip?

Like… family road trip? I have no idea. We drove a lot of places when I was little. Nothing stands out in my mind as the first.

I’m trying to think of the first road trip I was on without my family. …Coming up empty. I guess it depends on the definition of road trip too.

Just to sound cool, I’m gonna say it was one of the many I’ve taken with my friends in the last 5 years. The best ones were to Forks, WA or Gatlinburg, TN. Or with Hubby to Montreal to see Weezer in… 2010, I think?


There was a point in time where I was convinced that one day, I would get my license and drive to fun places myself. Now I am 97% sure that will never happen. That window is closed.

15. When was your first kiss?

With tongue? Haha. I wrote about this in the TMI quiz. I was 17 and it was with my friend Mike who I was sort of “seeing” – as much as one could have seen another with my maturity at the time. The possibility of a relationship beyond friendship ended at that very moment. I basically freaked the fuck out. Sorry, Fox. I just wasn’t ready. Super great guy though…

16. When was the first time you said “I love you”?

(I’m gonna answer this as my first-first and first in my current relationship – since I’m not doing this as a couples tag thingy. Haha. Can you imagine me trying to get Hubby to answer these with me in a video?)

The first time I ever told a guy I loved him (that wasn’t an elementary school “boyfriend” that didn’t count) was when I was puking my guts out in a tent in the middle of the night on May 2-4 weekend in grade 12. Not my finest moment. Memorable though, despite my inebriation. (I wrote about this guy in the same TMI quiz too.) I was totally obsessed with him but my feelings towards him were not reciprocated. He had a girlfriend at the time too… in the next tent over. Haha.

The first time Hubby and I said I love you to each other was three months after we started dating. We had a long distance relationship but spent our first post-Christmas holiday/New Year’s Eve with each other. We were staying at my friend Jeannie’s apartment, hanging out by ourselves and he just came right out and told me. I was cautious to tell someone that after the last relationship I had had (also long distance – also written about in the TMI quiz) and I didn’t want to say it back. I asked him to clarify what he meant before I said anything. Hahaha. Poor him. I did end up saying it back but I wasn’t sure if I felt it. Really, I still had no idea what it meant. It was only about 6 weeks more before I was absolutely sure I loved him.

Love is a tricky thing. It doesn’t matter to me now what I felt or didn’t back then. I love him now. And I tell him constantly. So does he.  (Awwwwww. *vomit*)

17. When was your first date?

My first first date… One of my high school boyfriends came to pick me up once and I was furious and crying in my bedroom while my dad grilled him in our living room for half an hour before he finally let him take me away. I was mortified. I don’t even remember now what we actually did that night. I only remember the horrible preamble.

With Hubby? The day we met. It was sort of a blind date, but not. That has its own post too.


Happy Victoria Day. Celebrate the Queen, you barbarians!
(Actually, I’m confused by this. Are we supposed to be celebrating Victoria or the current queen?)



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Those that follow me on other forms of social media will already be aware that I am OBSESSED with Pinterest. And I have frequently mentioned my various boards in a multitude of posts here on this blog too. I even minimally detailed some of the other accounts, apart from my own personal one, in the Team Jack post. Needless to say, I frequently waste hours and hours and hours on Pinterest. (Not gonna lie, there have been days I’ve laid in bed or on the couch and spent 18+ consecutive hours perusing and pinning. That’s… impressive and disgusting.)


I was thinking about why I like it so much.  I am thinking that it has a lot to do with my recent struggle with words and the innate human desire to have others understand me and who I am. If anyone were ever to become obsessed with me or want to stalk me online and find out everything they could about me, I’ve made it REALLY easy for them. Haha. Of course, no one is ever going to be as interested in me as I am… *snort* Not even Hubby. It’s too bad really. I’m interesting.

Okay, now that I have recovered from that little giggle fit~

Seriously, anything one could ever hope to know about me is on Pinterest. It’s a visual representation of everything I think and feel. Everything that’s important to me, and ideas I have, anything that’s going through my mind. The only thing that’s missing are the words to explain it.

I find that most people just hit the save button without editing the words others have already used. It can be really confusing because you don’t know if the captions are from the person you know or the one before them or 10~ people before that. And most of the time, the captions are irritating as hell. I prefer to erase whatever was said by previous pinners and not say anything myself, letting the pictures speak for themselves. You know the adage… 1000 words and all that…

As it is today, I have almost 15,000 pins organized into 140 boards. I also have 24 “secret” boards where I collect things I’m not ready to share yet for various reasons. And also 451 pins in my ‘likes’, which I use as a temporary holding until I have enough of something to warrant their own board or I’m not sure where to put yet.

Awhile ago, in one of the site updates, they made it so that you can change the order in which your boards appear. I spent quite awhile clicking/dragging them around into a specific order that I felt flowed and reflected me. Then, of course, the Pinterest powers-that-be fucked it up so that it only works on the actual computer view and not the mobile version. (Facebook hostile takeover. Boo.)


In the beginning, I had a similar lineup of board topics as most people – funny things, home things, food things, fashion things. Over time, I edited those, rearranging them, deleting some, and adding a shitton of new topics. I wish they’d add in some sub-board feature. I have groups of boards that I want to lump together but still keep separate. Right now, the only thing I can do is put them beside each other, which only works on computer view anyway. Argh.

As you’ve probably guessed, I have a lot of Japan-related boards. Originally, I was going to have one but that blew up in my face. There are 39 now. That’s probably the biggest subset topic.

My single most-used board is my “In My Dreams” one. It started out as a collection of images reminiscent of a few particular ‘scenes’ I place myself in when I need to calm myself or am trying to fall asleep. My multiple “happy places”. I think there are about 7 or so very specific settings I use for that purpose. (It’s actually a lot more complex than that and one day, I might try to explain.) After awhile, it started turning into natural scenery that I find pretty, but I’ve been trying to put it back on track lately. There are over 1,000 pins in that one board.

I think what makes my use of Pinterest more… intense than other avid pinners is that I don’t just save something and never look at it again. Like how I reread my own blog posts a lot, I spend just as much time going over my own boards as I do looking for new pins. I am always tweaking the appearance and content. And, as you’ve seen, I link to them often.

I use my Pinterest boards for idea planning, recipes, research, organizing, etc. like everyone else but I also use the pictures to calm myself, to lift my spirits, to inspire me, and to sort through the chaos in my head. It’s turned in to a life coping tool for me.

One thing that I haven’t gotten to yet is uploading my own travel pictures. There are many that I think are worthy being shared with the masses but I want to have all my blog posts up first so I can pin directly from here. (The Pinterest add-on button in my tool bar was probably the single greatest download ever!)

My one complaint of Pinterest right now, apart from what I mentioned about them moving things around so much, is that they have changed the wording in the notification to have the worst grammar! It’s so annoying. For some reason, instead of saying ‘so-and-so saved your pin’ like they used to, now it says “one of your pins got saved”. WTF. Got saved? That sounds terrible.


Oh, that and I keep seeing pins from people I don’t follow on Pinterest merely because we’re Facebook friends. I hate that. If I don’t follow someone on purpose, there is a reason.

All in all, I love Pinterest and I wish more people used it to it’s potential.

boards 1boards 2boards 3boards 4

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Sleep Talk

This is a conversation I just had with my sleeping husband.

Him: Thanks for the strawberries.
Me: What strawberries?
Him: You know. All of them.
Me: What?
Him: The strawberries.
Me: Huh? What strawberries?
Him: Boo to cupid. Boo to strawberries. Boo to unibrows.
Me: (LOL) Okay.
Him: It’s not that funny.
Me: It’s pretty funny.
Him: (*resumes snoring*)


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