I’m sad. I have no “childhood home” to go back to. Not only did I never live in the house they now own, but my parents have changed. They don’t cook the same things. It doesn’t smell right. They got rid of all my stuff.
This first half of my 30s was all about self discovery. Who am I? Searching through what I thought before, reevaluating, discarding or gripping certain criteria, trying new things out, evaluating again, examining every aspect, challenging other’s views, labelling, defining, making decisions… seeking.
I feel that the latter half of my 30s is going to be about letting that go. Being okay with just being. Being okay with not having everything figured out. Being undefined. Being in flux and in progress and en route.
Lately, I’ve been feeling very frustrated and confused.
When I talk with people, I do my best to be concise and straightforward. A lot of the time, especially when having personal, intimate conversations, I fail at that. I get ahead of myself mentally and can’t keep up verbally or I get nervous and stutter. Or I am put on the spot and haven’t taken the time to formulate a coherent answer. But in general, it’s something I always strive for. Something I thought, at least in a professional capacity, I always did well. For instance, in the past, when conveying a problem at work to my manager or perhaps over the phone to tech support or something, I had been praised more than once for relating the information that was needed in an organized, calm way. I was proud of that.
Lately though… *sigh* I don’t know what has changed. Something has. I don’t know if it’s me that actually changed or my perception or… I really don’t know.
Granted, professionally, I am now working with mostly people whose first language (or even second or third, in some cases) is not English. There is bound to be some mix up from time to time. But, I feel like I am speaking another language than every other person on the planet now. I don’t feel wholly understood. Ever. By anyone. Even Hubby sometimes doesn’t quite get what I’m really saying.
I acknowledge I have become a lot more closed off than I used to be, but when I want to communicate something – if I need clarification or help with something – I still do my best to be succinct. It’s not working! It’s frustrating and pretty upsetting.
There have been multiple occasions recently where I have needed assistance with something or asked for specific information and I feel that the responses I have received have either only partially answered what I asked or have not been related at all.
Most of the time, it’s just inconsequential, mundane things and I let it go, but a few times, they have been circumstances where I actually need to get something across or need help. It’s not just verbally that these issues are happening. It’s through written communication as well. That’s the worst part. When I take the time to arrange the right words in the right order, that is the very best I can do. If I can’t connect with people in a meaningful way through those means anymore, what do I have left? Especially with my anxiety issues when talking to people face to face.
Is this something wrong with other people? Is no one else truly listening to what is actually being said? That can’t be the case, right? I’ve said this a lot in the past few years – if every other person you encounter seems to have a problem, the problem is really with you. So what is it that I am doing now or just noticing now that is leading me to feel so misunderstood?
All of this makes me not want to talk to anyone else at all anymore! Give up and dig a hole and close myself off completely.
I can’t be responsible for other people’s behaviour – only my own. I can’t be angry at myself for all the mistakes I’ve made (of which there have be many). I’ll learn from them instead. I won’t say that the things I’ve wrongfully done to other people are okay but I’m not going to condemn myself for them either. All that can be done is to let go of yesterday and try to do better going forward. Realizing this about myself makes it easier to move past the shitty things other people do to me. I can’t really judge them for being on their own journey and making the same mistakes I have. Hopefully, they will do the same for me.
Something I need to remind myself often is that you never know the whole truth about another person and the motivations behind their actions. You might THINK you do but acting on your perception of another person’s intention can be very damaging.
Part of my life journey/discovery/wisdom/something or other has been (slowly) coming to the realization that I don’t need to “deserve” the love that others freely give me. Love should not be withheld until you score enough points to earn it. I figured out that I can accept love from others without guilt that someone more worthy should be the recipient instead. Every single human being deserves to be loved by somebody else just because they exist. Some people will love you just because. Anyone that tells you otherwise has no idea what love is and what it means to have someone love them and that is truly sad. I am so blessed to know that I am truly loved and understand what that feels like.
The list of people I know love me may be small but I know they see who I really am and love me unconditionally. I don’t need to worry they will stop if I do something wrong or if they get to know me better. Everyone deserves that.
Part of what got me into being an “active” participant in the Twilight fandom, rather than just a lurker, was listening to the Team Jack podcast. I started late in the game (as I do with most things) and began listening a few months before Breaking Dawn Part 2 was due in theatres. Actually, it was right around the time that the Twilight cast was making their final appearance at Comic Con in 2012. Of course, trying to glean as much as I could about whatever Twilight-related content was available, I went back to the beginning and listened to alllll the podcast episodes. (Twilight-realted tidbits are kept to a minimum and scattered amongst a vast array of various general movie/Hollywood-centric topics.) I maintain, to this day, that without the Team Jack podcast, I wouldn’t have been inspired to crack my way into the online community and would still be hiding deep in the depths of my Twi-closet. From that, I owe my closest friendships and the life I now live, to this podcast.
All of that said, and Twilight crap aside, I LOVE Jack’s podcast. It’s not only a fascinating look into movies, movie-making, Hollywood life, etc. but also Jack himself is a treat. I appreciate so much his drilling down into the minutia of detail regarding time and place and his sense of humour and the fact that he really does ‘get’ all of us crazy Twihards – because obsession is obsession, no matter what form it takes. He understands and that’s apparent in everything he talks about.
So, yeah… I’ve been a Team Jack fan for quite awhile. I used to interact with Jack and his ‘team’ of girls on Twitter, back when I was actually active on Twitter and the podcast was airing regularly. (I even won a trivia contest they held and got myself a lovely Bill Condon autographed magazine! Hahaha. Oh yeah, and I was also in attendance for the recording of episode 49 in LA during BD2 Fan Camp. That was pretty freaking cool.)
Much later on, when the podcast was on indefinite hiatus, I got in touch with Jack, due to his involvement in the Forever Twilight in Forks events last year through the Facebook page and offered my assistance in maintaining the FTF Pinterest account (which I still do – albeit a lot more spottily than last year ) and then, when he asked if I’d help out with the Team Jack Pinterest account too, I added that as well. Take a look at both of those if you want. I’m kind of proud of them.
Around that time, while I was perusing the ‘visually annotated episode guides‘ for pictures to use for his Pinterest stuff and was re-listening to all the old episodes again (research, of course), I decided to try my hand at making my own version of an episode guide, following their format. (They started later on, around episode 30-something-ish, I think, and then went back to the beginning to start with back-dated ones. As it is right now, there is a gap from episode 10-to-wherever they started of missing guides.) It wasn’t something I was doing to share. Just for my own enjoyment and love of organizing stuff. Although, I liked it when it was complete, I still kept it to myself.
But… the podcast has recently starting recording episodes again after a long, two-an-a-half year break. I figured that the new episodes would have guides made to go along with them and thought it was possible that they’d get back to making the missing back-dated ones as well. Since I had one finished, I messaged Kathleen, who does the guides, and offered to send it to her and that she was free to use as much or as little (or all or none) of what I had come up with.
I’m not sure if they will end up using any of what I sent for the Team Jack Podcast website but, as I like to do with all the stuff I write that is posted elsewhere, I wanted to share it here on my own personal blog as well. As I said, I do like how it turned out.
If you a fan of movies at all, I highly suggest that you check out the Team Jack podcast either on iTunes or SoundCloud. They are very informative and entertaining.
Team Jack 11: “All Dogs Go to Heaven” – originally aired December 21, 2011
In which Jack, Yolen, and Cohen try to find meaning in it all.
Guests:
Jack Morrissey
Greg Yolen
Matt Cohen
Annotated by: kmah
1: 55 Last episode before the Christmas holidays – Greg will be returning to “the wilds of Vancouver” and Matt will be heading to Manhattan Island to partake in 4 Phish concerts around New Year’s where, for once, Madison Square Gardens will be ‘greener’ than Central Park.
An interesting conversation about Phish-specific carnival barkers and the type of activity that happens at such concerts ensues.
7:55 After Matt makes reference to Gwen Turner’s movies, Greg wants to point out that “we love lesbians” on this podcast. All Jack knows about lesbians is that they like jicama.
9:13 When Matt interjects that Kim Jong Il was a big fan of All Dogs Go to Heaven before Greg can explain the reason for the episode title, it spawns a tangent about the recently deceased dictator’s movie obsession and whether or not Kim Jong Un will be better or worse for the world.
Kim Jong Il clip from Team America
12:08 Matt suggests The Vice Guide to North Korea on vice.com.
13:48 Jack is very upset to learn he was just in Great Neck, the town where the Friedmans were from, for a wedding and could have gone by their house but didn’t know it. (kmah’s note: From Wikipedia – Francis Ford Coppola graduated from Great Neck High School North. Sid Caesar, Maurice Chevalier, Oscar Hammerstein II, Andy Kaufman, and the Marx Brothers were also residents. It is said that F. Scott Fitzgerald, after living there for many years, modelled West Egg, the town where Nick in The Great Gastby lives, after Great Neck.)
Capturing the Friedmans is a “remarkable, fascinating, disturbing documentary”, according to Greg. All three of them love it. But “you won’t feel good about humanity afterwards”, Matt adds.
Matt’s reaction when he sees it: “WTF?! He looks like some sort of Guillermo del Toro creature from Pan’s Labyrinth!” (kmah’s note: It reminds me of when the alien breaks out of John Hurt’s stomach in Spaceballs– sans shirt. It looks like something is wiggling around inside him and about to break free.)
But Greg says the movie is good and really fun nonetheless.
They do the whole iconic dropping and not hitting the ground bit in all of them.
26:04 J.J. Abrams always uses “the magic box” as the key to all his storytelling endeavors.
The only good Abrams movie is Star Trek – because it’s basically Star Wars.
27:35 Matt says he loves Star Trek TOS because it is the worst TV show ever made.
Greg: “You should all see Jack’s face right now. He is just staring death into Cohen.”
It’s low budget but charming.
28:41 Philip Seymour Hoffman playing Tom Cruise being Philip Seymour Hoffman for five minutes is the best part of MI3. Greg wishes it would continue throughout the rest of the movie.
30:03 Beware. Neti pots (or nose douches), if improperly used, can kill you. Emily, the evil amoeba will eat your brain!
33:35 Interesting that Jeremy Renner is primed to take over both of the major spy franchises – Mission: Impossible and Bourne.
34:55 Jack liked the original Matrix movie. Greg hated it. Matt liked it at the time but it doesn’t work anymore. It was a movie of its time. Now Keanu is just sad – which leads to a discussion of memes. knowyourmeme.com is awesome and a wealth of information.
“I’m a sad panda.”
sad Keanu
(kmah’s note: Please Google “Jumping Rob“. Hilarious.)
37:15 ‘Downfall parodies‘ are a great example of internet memes.
How many movie Hitlers can you name?
39:35 Seamless segue from Hitler to Hulk (via Eric Bana movies), as only these three can do. Greg will defend Ang Lee’s and Greg sides with Louis Leterrier’s.
43:03 Jack isn’t a fan of when they trade up actors of franchises he’s actually invested in.
Examples:
Rachel Lefebvre vs. Bryce Dallas Howard as Victoria in the Twilight saga movies
Roger Moore vs. Sean Connery vs. …everybody else as James Bond (Greg’s)
Lara Flynn Boyle vs. Moira Kelly as Donna Hayward in Twin Peaks (Matt’s)
Kirstie Alley vs. Robin Curtis as Saavik in the Star Trek movies (Jack’s)
45:15 Did you hear the new Star Trek rumor? Jack’s favorite part of podcasting is when these two tell him things he’s too lazy to look up.
Someone was just cast in Star Trek 2 and they are saying whoever it is will probably be Janis Rand.
Who will be Kahn? Nester Carbonell replacing Benicio del Toro.
47:05 Matt has a great idea for a Star Trek parody – Bones treating Kirk for green VD. Don’t steal his idea.
48:25 The best things about Abrahams/Zucker Brothers movies. Notice how they almost all have exclamation marks in the titles.
52:00 Leslie Nielsen’s headstone actually reads “Let ‘er rip” and other funny grave markers.
52:51 Jack and Bill’s beloved dog, Pigpen, has made the journey to wherever he’s going beyond this world. 😦
55:11 Pet parents and the decisions you don’t think about having to make.
1:03:55 The joy of outdoor movies. Hollywood Forever Cinespia is hugely popular. Matt says Devil’s Night Drive-In is also really cool.
Cinespia @ Hollywood Forever
Devil’s Night Drive-In
1:08:45 Greg is heading back to Vancouver tomorrow morning. Jack suggests he eats a Beaver Tail when he’s there. They were introduced to Jack by Ian McKellan and are delicious. (kmah’s note: Beaver Tails are a Canadian festival and theme park staple. So yummy.)
Let me preface this post by saying I’m going to be brutally honest. Not that I hide the truth usually – I have gone quite a bit deeper in the last year or so than I used to in the past – but I’m not going to leave things out that might make other people uncomfortable. Why should I? This blog is for me. I have very few readers anyway.
That said…
I don’t necessarily think I’m depressed at this point. I definitely was in the past. Right now, there are a bunch of things going on with me but I’m not at a place where I feel like sharing all of it. I do think I need therapy though. Perhaps more than just ‘maintenance’. Something more intensive. Of course, I’m not objective. If you are reading this to the end, you will probably want to argue with me that I definitely do sound depressed.
So, here’s the thing. I don’t really want to be alive. Everything seems so pointless. I don’t want to do the things I’m “supposed” to do – those stupid milestone type things. The rat race shit. I don’t really want to go anywhere or do anything. I have few dreams or goals or aspirations. I don’t experience joy from anything. The best I get is a mild, fleeting appreciation. Putting in work to do any of these things seems stupid.
There are two reasons I am still alive and trudging through the monotony of years on end of mediocre existence. One is fear of pain and of the unknown. (What if what comes next is even worse?!) The other is because I don’t want to hurt anyone else by leaving.
You always hear about suicidal people being selfish and the other side of the argument being that they are actually the opposite because they feel like a burden to everyone and are actually doing favours to their loved ones. I can see that thinking, but my point of view is a little different. I don’t think that it’s me that the other person would be devastated to lose but the loss of someone, anyone in a person’s life is devastating in itself. I don’t want to be that stain of ‘someone I knew committed suicide’ on someone else’s life.
There are varying degrees of pain my absence would cause various people. For family members, I would be that lingering shadow of ‘my sister/daughter/aunt/whatever killed herself’. Doubly compounded for my husband. I would be the second “important woman” in his life to leave him. I can’t do that.
So I’m stuck in this limbo of dealing with the daily grind of things I don’t want to deal with interspersed with okay things because of others. I am living for other people.
It would be nice to be able to live for myself. To live because I WANT to. To wake up and be glad to be alive. I have no idea what that might feel like.
The other day on Facebook, someone I follow posted this.
Fun! My brain was slow to get in the game, only thinking of a few songs at first but I sat with the challenge for about an hour and came up with a whole bunch of great ones. Then, of course, I cheated and took to the internet, expanding my list into the hundreds.
Wow. I had no idea there were soooooooo many songs with colours in the title.
One thing I should mention is that I am only choosing songs that I already know. Usually when I make a new playlist, I research options and listen to a bunch I’ve never heard before and pick what I like from there. I didn’t do that this time. It was too overwhelming. That said, there are a ton I’ve heard of that are super famous but don’t know so they aren’t included.
Here are my top picks – one for each colour:
1. Weezer – Pink Triangle
Duh. Obviously, Weezer is gonna be the first.
2. Joni Mitchell – Little Green
Green is my favourite colour. It was hard to pick the best songs. Joni’s classic although this song is relatively new in my collection. I picked it up after reading a fan fiction story of the same name.
3. Gob – Paint It Black
Yes, the Stones did it first, but I prefer this version.
4. Nena – 99 Red Balloons
Great 80’s hit. I actually like the German version better, but gotta keep with the (self-imposed) rules. If I were opening it up to other languages, I never would have been able to narrow it down. (Note: J-Pop particularly is very colourful.)
5. Roger Whittaker – Yellow Bird
Not the first yellow song that came to mind (actually it was the very last), but it wasn’t on ANY of the many other lists I saw online and it’s great. Technically a kids song, maybe? But it was a pillar of my own childhood story and I wanted to share it.
6. Helen O’Connell & Bob Eberly – Tangerine
Orange got the short end of the colour stick. The only other 2 options I came across were Orange County Girl by Gwen Stefani, which I felt was not really anything to do with the colour, or Orange Crush by REM, who I loathe. So I am cheating by skipping orange altogether and going with a synonym instead. I LOVE this song. I first heard it in high school when my siblings and I bought a big band CD for my dad’s birthday. Their voices are delicious.
7. Jack’s Mannequin – Dark Blue
No other reason than that I just really like this song. There were a few options but this was my favourite of the bunch. Also, I discovered this band several years ago when they opened for Weezer in Toronto, so there’s that. And then I found out afterwards that it’s on the Stephenie Meyer playlist. I guess everyone likes it.
8. Van Morrison – Brown-Eyed Girl
I almost skipped this one because it’s so cliché but it’s just too awesome to pass up. Also, not a lot of brown options for me.
9. OK Go – White Knuckles
So hard to pick! A lot of really great white songs. Since OK Go is one of my favourite bands, they win.
10. Prince – Purple Rain
Prince was a very colourful guy and his music reflected that. A lot of his songs have colour names in the titles. Seemed weird not to use at least one.
11. Vertical Horizon – Best I Ever Had (Grey Sky Morning)
Again, not a lot of grey songs, but of the limited number, this was my favourite. I love this song.
12. Freda Payne – Band of Gold
It was a toss up between this one and Kanye and 3 different James Bond themes. I picked this one because it’s from the soundtrack to my ‘growing up’ movie, Now and Then. My friends and I would watch it at almost all of our sleepover parties and I listened to the soundtrack until the tape got jammed in my tape player and I had to steal my friend’s CD so I could make a new copy. This song will always remind me of my formative years.
Might seem like an odd choice, but Christmas songs use a lot of colour imagery so it makes sense to pick one. And I’m either not a fan of or nor familiar with many non-Christmas silver songs. There are, like, a million different versions of this one to choose from – I chose Bing because he’s one of my favourite voices ever and because I already used a version by Dean Martin in my Christmas playlist.
And to sum up…
14. Cyndi Lauper – True Colors
Seemed appropriate.
Since I love some songs and some colours more than others, here are a few more, just to round the list up to 20.
I thought I may as well share “my speech” that I wrote for my final project for my Japanese class. Usually we present in groups for the final projects, doing a skit or something, but I will be absent for the last class and have to present on my own the week before. (We have Weezer tickets! Bought them months ago and I’m not about to skip that.)
The only criteria for the speech is that it uses all the grammar points we learned this level (I’m in Level 4 now, BTW.) and that it runs 3-5 minutes. The topic can be anything we want. I chose my family because it’s easy. LOL.
My speech has an accompanying PowerPoint with pictures so I’ll add those in as well. And I’ll do the Japanese text in chunks with the English translation following.
I am presenting this in one week. Wish me luck.
私 の かぞく (My Family)
さいしょ の うち
私 は ウィニペグ で うまれました。
I was born in Winnipeg.
私 の かぞく は 五人 が います。かぞくぜんいん かみ が ちゃいろ で、目 が あおい です。
There are 5 people in my family. We all have brown hair and blue eyes.
りょうしん は 二人とも 六十七さい です。
父 は はいしゃ でしたが、今 たいしょくしゃ です。母 は しゅふ です。
My parents are both 67 years old. My father was a dentist, but now he is retired. My mother is a homemaker.
Gardening
父 の しゅみ は なつ に つり です。母 は ガーデニング が 大好き で、
毎日 ガーデニング を しています。
My father’s hobby is fishing in the summer. My mother loves gardening and gardens everyday.
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いもうと の 名前 は ケイティ です。三十二さい で、マッサージりょうほうし です。やさしくて、きれい で、おも白い です。ケイティ は 私 より わかい ですが、私 より せが高い です。ケイティ の しゅじん は ライアン です。
My younger sister’s name is Katie. She is 32 and a massage therapist. She is pretty and easy-going and funny. She is younger than me, but taller. Katie’s husband is Ryan.
ケイティ は とても げん気 ですよ！ むすこ が 三人 います。メイソンくん は 来月 八さい に なります。あたまがいい です。ホールデンくん は 六さい で、げん気 です。一年中、たんパン を はくたい です。ソールくん は 一ばん わかい です。三さい で、自分で なんでも します。
Katie is very energetic! She has 3 sons. Mason will be 8 years old next month. He is smart. Holden is 6 and energetic. He wants to wear shorts all year. Saul is the youngest. He is 3 and does everything by himself.
あに の 名前 は クリス です。かぞく の 中 で 一ばん せが高い です。カナダせいふ の ため に はたらいています。でも、クリス の ほんとう しごと が わかりません。
こども が ひとりだけ います。ベンくん は 二さい です。クリス の つま は カーリー です。
My older brother’s name is Chris. He is the tallest in the family. He works for the Government of Canada but I don’t know what he actually does. He has only one child. Ben is 2. Chris’ wife is Carly.
Downtown Winnipeg from The Forks
二千一年 に、私 は どこか べつ の ところ に すみたかったので、自分でも ウィニペグ から ミシサーガ に ひっこしました。ミシサーが の ほう が ウィニペグ より にぎやか ですから。自分で すんでいたかった 見ましたが、さびしかった です。
In 2001, I wanted to live somewhere else, so I moved from Winnipeg to Mississauga by myself, because Mississauga is livelier than Winnipeg. I wanted to try to live alone, but it was lonely.
九年 の まえ に しゅじん と けっこんしました。
My husband and I got married 9 years ago.
うち を かいました。ブランプトン に すんでいます。
We bought a house. We live in Brampton.
しゅじん の 名前 は ジェイソン です。たんじょうび は 三週間前 でした。四十さい です。やくざいし です。ひまな時 に ゲーム や ゴルフ を します。ゴルフ が じょうず です。ジェイソン は やさしくて、とても おも白くて、だれも より しんせつな 人 です。
My husband’s name is Jason. His birthday was three weeks ago. He is 40 years old. He is a pharmacist. In his free time, he plays video games and golfs. He is good at golf. He is easy going, and very funny, and kinder than anyone else.
私 の かぞく
ちかごろ、一年 に 一回 ぐらい だけ かぞく に あい に ウィニペグ へ かえります。今、ジェイソン は 私 の かぞく です。二人 だけ です。
These days, I return to Winnipeg to see my family only about once a year. Now, my husband is my family. It’s just the two of us.
It’s no secret that I love to sleep. It’s a known fact this is a hobby of mine. But staying awake until delirium settles in is also a habit I have. My current records for staying awake and sleeping are respectively 38 and 30 hours. It would be impressive if it weren’t so gross.
I guess it just makes sense then that I would have a playlist dedicated to sleep (or the lack thereof). I think it’s fairly universal that people want to fall asleep to escape reality, can’t fall asleep when they are troubled, don’t want to wake up to face their lives, or just feel tired. There are quite a few songs Google suggested that are to do with sleep that didn’t make the cut because they didn’t fit the theme. This list has been researched and tested to make sure each song fits the general feel I was looking for.
Enjoy~~
1.Bombay Bicycle Club – How Can You Swallow So Much Sleep?
How can I swallow so much sleep? It’s a talent.
Can you wake me up? I really wouldn’t recommend it.
2. Passion Pit – Sleepyhead
This song sounds like how insomnia feels. It’s like Disney characters on uppers.
I thought it was really annoying the first few times I heard it but now I love it. This might be one of my new favourite songs.
3. The Beatles – I’m So Tired
If being tired had a sound, this song would be it. Both the lyrics and the music itself ooze the feeling of being tired.
4. Best Coast – Sleep Won’t Ever Come
When you’re lying in bed TRYING to fall asleep, and just can’t get there, it seems like you’ll never be able to ever again.
5. Jack White – I Guess I Should Go to Sleep
Sometimes, the best option is just to go to bed and sleep it off.
6. Portugal.The Man – Sleep Forever
“I just want to sleep forever Never see tomorrow Lead or follow”
7. The Smiths – Asleep
If you take it at face value, this song sums up the escape that sleep brings from life and depression and all the heavy things. But it also accurately relays the feelings of someone who wants to give up on life altogether. I’ve been there.
8. Cat Stevens – I’m So Sleepy
A more light-hearted sounding version of being tired.
9. Barenaked Ladies – Who Needs Sleep?
Insomnia is fun, isn’t it?
10. Bat for Lashes – The Big Sleep
Have you ever been so tired that you can barely move, or speak, or even process thoughts at all? You use up every shred of energy you have for something, and when it’s over, you crash. Exhaustion.
11. Cake – When You Sleep
I find this song amusing. Hubby is constantly moving in his sleep and I always wonder what he’s dreaming about.
12. Death Cab for Cutie – Sleep Spent
To me, this one sounds like being so drained that nothing matters anymore. Everything that seemed important before is sacrificed so that you can give in to the need to shut down.
13. Sia – I Go to Sleep (The Kinks cover)
Some people live to sleep – to dream about the things they wish they had or miss in life.
14. Blondie – Sound-A-Sleep
*I* think the sound of sleep is snoring or heavy breathing… but I don’t mind Debbie Harry trying to sing me to sleep.
15. The Strokes – Fear of Sleep
When I was little (okay, honestly, still now), I would fight sleep so that I wouldn’t miss out on anything. I was always the last to fall asleep at sleepover parties. I felt bad for the ones that fell asleep before the fun was over.
16. Joss Stone – Sleep Like a Child
Childhood – before life became so difficult, when there was nothing to really worry about, when sleep came much easier… when your mom forced you to go to bed.
17. The Postal Service – Sleeping In
“Don’t wake me I plan on sleeping in”
18. The Beatles – I’m Only Sleeping
Sleeping is a priority in my life. I need it to recover. I enjoy it. And, like Lennon apparently, people think I’m being lazy. I don’t care.
19. Pink Floyd – A Pillow of Winds
Sleep is bliss.
20. Julie Andrews – Stay Awake
The ultimate lullaby from the world’s favourite nanny, Mary Poppins.
The rest of these aren’t on the “official” playlist, but are still worth checking out:
) and then, when he asked if I’d help out with the 
blah blah blah 