Challenge

A few months ago, someone tagged me in a photo challenge thing on Facebook. Mutual friends were also tagged and, in turn, tagged me in theirs. Within a week, five people had challenged me to the same thing.

It’s seemingly pretty simple. Post five pictures of yourself that make you feel beautiful.

Simple…. unless you are me.

Now, I love challenges. I also like groupings, and themes, and organizing. So I wanted to do it. But…

I hate myself.

Dramatic? Perhaps. But 100% true. Christian Grey has nothing on me.

My first (and second and third, etc.) reaction to this challenge was, “Too bad. Impossible.” No such pictures exist. I couldn’t even pick ONE picture where I felt beautiful. Because that never happens. I see myself as ugly.

Beauty, to me, entails a level of perfection. I am soooooo far from perfect. When I look in the mirror, all I see is flaws. It’s sad. And it hurts. I’m not pretty. Most of the time, I think I shouldn’t even show myself in public.

But here I am, months later feeling …off… because I didn’t accept/complete this challenge. In fact, I ignored each and every post. No explanation as to why. (I’m just a jerk that never responds to anything on FB.) I didn’t want to tell them my reason because I didn’t want anyone to feel sorry for me or try to tell me otherwise. I am not one to say something negative about myself as a way of fishing for compliments. Compliments actually make me very uncomfortable. (Very odd for a praise junkie. But that’s all about achievement – things I’ve done. Not looks or personality. Unless you tell me I’m funny. I love hearing that. …But only if it’s true. LOL.)

But how pathetic that I can’t find just five pictures of myself that I like.

Since I feel I can’t actually complete this challenge as it was posed but have that lingering feeling of unease for having left it, I’m going to do the closest thing I can. Five pictures to post on FB where I feel “socially acceptable”. (I was almost going to say ‘comfortable’, but even that leaves room to tear myself down for one reason or another. How can I feel comfortable when there are so many things to fix? *sigh* Anyway…)

Five pictures I don’t hate. Close as I can get. Challenge accepted.

 

(originally posted to wohngsikneuih)

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3 Days of Gratitude

This was one of those Facebook tags things. I had to post 3 things I was grateful for 3 days in a row. (I’m backdating this post so that it shows up on the 1st day I posted on Facebook.)

Day 1

Last week, Jenn tagged me in a challenge ~ three days of three things I am grateful for. I purposely wanted to start today…

The number one thing I am most grateful for in life is Hubby. ❤ Happy 14 Years, Dude. You kind of rock, ya know.
2. my girls (they know who they are) ~ they see me at my worst and yet still keep coming back for more
3. cupcakes ~ they make me happy

cupcakes.jpg

Day 2
1. Weezer ~ still rocking after 20 years. (New album comes out Oct. 7!)
2. bubble tea ~ providing bonding moments to solidify my relationships since 1999.
3. other people’s obsessions ~ make me feel just a little bit more normal.

bubble tea.jpg

Day 3
1. people who give me second chances (and third and… more than I deserve) ~ so thankful for those that know how to forgive
2. my bed ~ comfort, safety, escape
3. music ~ “Where words fail, music speaks.”

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Forks

I’m leaving for my second trip to Forks in 2 days. As I prepare, I’ve been thinking back on last year’s experience. I never did get around to the post summarizing the entire journey ~ and let’s face it, probably never will. So I thought I would at least share just a few pictures.

forks

This time last year, my group of friends and I travelled to “the holy land” for Stephenie Meyer Days (an annual series of festivities during the weekend closest to Bella’s birthday ~ September 13th), coinciding with the 2nd of the “Forever” parties, which had taken on the “Forever in Forks” name. The two events had joined together and many activities were planned. One of these was the FiF scavenger hunt. Each group (or individual) was given a list of things to track down and take pictures of. They were to be posted on either Instagram or Facebook and a winner would be chosen among the completing participants. Well, that was the plan anyway. As far as we all know, no such winner was deemed. Booooo. But our group busted our asses getting creative with our picture taking and I had edited them into collages. I think it would be a shame and detriment not to share them again. ;P

To start, here is a picture of our hunt list, with one very special addition:

Most people (who are into this stuff) would have heard that Stephenie Meyer herself showed up in Forks and did an impromptu meet and greet sort of thing. As soon as we heard this, we added her name to our list. Of course, being completely shocked and unprepared, I had nothing for her to sign so as she breezed by (the first time), I got her to sign our list. She saw that we had added her name and said, “Oh, that’s so cute!”

checklist

I did end up getting a picture with her as well a few minutes later after she decided to hold off her lunch break a little while longer and pose for some. I was the (self-)designated picture taker for my friends. During the excitement, they each sort of wandered to the background after their turn passed and I was left standing there with no one to take mine. I turned around and yelled back to them something along the lines of “What about me, bitches?!”, immediately horrified that I had just cursed in front of the Mormon author. I tried to run away, but she called back to me, “Did you get a picture with your doll?” (I had been shoving my “Pocket Edward” into a multitude of pictures by then and he was in my hand as I was playing amateur photographer.) I shook my head, still super embarrassed at my outburst, and she told me to get back over there. PE saved the day! It was the highlight of my trip. And she was laughing and smiling the entire time. Like a jackass, all I could manage was a squeaky thank you. Then I actually did run away.

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Now for the ACTUAL items on the list:
(I’m going to add some of the hashtags/captions I used on Instagram for the original contest posts, cause some of them are pretty damn funny.)

Item # 1. Swan’s residence  (We had the Forks AND Portland locations. Book AND movie. Yay us!)

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Item # 2. Cullen house  #gogogo!  (Again both locations… and PE)

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Item # 3. Bella’s truck

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Item # 4. Welcome to Forks sign  #findPE

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Item # 5. Doctor Cullen’s parking spot

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Item # 6. baseball field  (Should be mentioned that many of the items on the list don’t actually exist, which is where creativity came into play.)

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Item # 7. Charlie’s police cruiser

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Item # 8. the meadow  #wonkyfeet

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Item # 9. a wolf

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Item # 10. Forks High School  #gospartans

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Item # 11. Edward  #PE #forkscoven #olympiccoven So many different Edwards!

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Item # 12. an apple  #unintentionalpfachphotobomb #biteme

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Item # 13. Forks Diner  (The Forks and Portland location ~ Carver Cafe)

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Couldn’t decide between them, so 2 were posted.

#deerheadseverywhere #taxidermyatitsfinest

13b

Item # 14. sporting goods store ~ Olympic Outfitters   #goinghunting #moreheads

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Item # 15. Jacob’s motorcycle

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Item # 16. the treaty line

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Item # 17. Jacob’s house

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Item # 18. First Beach  #thecullensdontcomehere #theydonow

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2 posted again, ‘cause it’s so pretty!

18b

Item # 19. re-enact a scene of your choosing

We couldn’t pick just one. We had 5.

19a. Volvo (video link)   #sinceimgoingtohell #wonkyfeet

19b. First Beach (video link)  #fantasticactingskills #findPE #photobomb #strongindependentwoman #poormirandaisalwaystheboy

19c. Stone Cliff Inn  #sothelion… yeah, you know…   #stoplaughing #omgmyhandswerewherehishandswere *snort*

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19d. #theskinofakiller #sparkle #sonotscaryedward #stripperglitter

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19e. #floridians #thatswhatsinjacksonville #makeshiftgreenhouse

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Bonus: #THEtree I can just see him dangling from that branch… LMAO. #personalbrand #twiheroin #roadtrip #portlandtoforks #memories #mygirls  Miranda, Brina, and iPhone picture credit to Jodi. You win… just this one time.

tree

And ‘cause I feel like sharing them…

Dinner at Bella Italia

bella italia

PE at Ruby Beach ~ the most beautiful place I’ve ever seen with my own eyes

beach

PE watching BD2 in the Forks High School gym

gym

“Last born of the clan, first one to be free” ~ Our roadtrip 🙂

drive

(Some of) My Girls

pcy

The Party

tongues

Re-enactments, FTW

new moon

Driving from Forks to La Push (video link) ~ the whole car singing along with Christina Perri #forever.

(originally posted to Eat. Sleep. Breathe. Twilight.)

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15 Films That Will Always Stick with Me

No one tagged me, but I kept seeing it and wondered how hard it would be. So I tried. It was hard. And I totally cheated, because it took me an hour and a half. I just can’t operate any other way.

“The rules: Don’t take too long to think about it. Fifteen films you’ve seen that will always stick with you. List the first fifteen you can recall in no more than fifteen minutes. Tag fifteen friends, including me, because I’m interested in seeing what films my friends choose.”

1. Twilight Saga – duh
2. What Dreams May Come
3. My Neighbor Totoro – my very favourite movie ever
4. Anne of Green Gables
5. Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon
6. Scott Pilgrim vs. the World
7. The Princess Bride
8. Kill Bill
9. Flower Drum Song – Asians AND a musical! And one of my favourite quotes ever ~ “All white people look alike”.
10. Star Wars
11. E.T.
12. Mulan – finally some Asian representation in a Disney movie
13. When Harry Met Sally
14. Shiri – Korean action movie that makes me sob every time I watch it
15. Alice in Wonderland (1985 version) – It terrified me to my very soul and I still can’t watch it.

Honourable Mention (’cause it’s only a short): Mickey’s Christmas Carol – I know this entire movie by heart, line by line.

movie.jpeg

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11 Albums That Affected Me

Okay, I did it. (Busy night, list wise.) Another Facebook tag I was nominated in and feel like sharing here too.

“List 11 albums that have affected you in some way. They don’t need to be the ‘right’ albums or great works of musicianship.”

Here are mine in no particular order:

1. WeezerPinkerton
2. Green Day1,039/Smoothed Out Slappy Hours
3. MuseAbsolution
4. Wham!Make It Big
5. Bobby LongA Winter Tale
6. Michael JacksonThriller
7. Boyz II MenCooleyhighharmony
8. Leon LaiBeijing Station
9. The Phantom of the Opera (Canadian Cast Recording)
10. Japan for Sale (There are 4 volumes, and I had the last one first.)
11. all of the Twilight soundtracks (I don’t care if that’s cheating. They single-handedly saved my musical soul from a slow and torturous death.)

albums.jpg

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10 Books That Have Left an Impression on Me

This is from one of those ‘tag 10 people on Facebook’ things. *sigh* Now everyone is gonna know how much of an uneducated, non-reader I am.

10 books that have left an impression on me.
(Yes, I read a lot of Chinese/Japanese related fiction. If not exclusively so.)

1. Jane of Lantern Hill by Lucy Maud Montgomery (Had this as an audiotape when I was a kid and I used to sit on the living room couch for hours listening to it over and over. I can actually recite most of the first chapter from memory.)

2. Memoirs of a Geisha by Arthur Golden (I was SO excited when this came out. Finally, something to make my long-standing obsession mainstream – thus, easier to find related material.)

3. Anthem by Ayn Rand (Blew me away with the revelation of how important words are and how they help shape the way we see ourselves. Anyone who knows me, knows how seriously I take ‘words’.)

4. Snow Flower and the Secret Fan by Lisa See

5. Wild Swans: The Three Daughters of China by Jung Chang

6. The Hundred Secret Senses by Amy Tam

7. The Street of a Thousand Blossoms by Gail Tsukiyama

8. The Twilight Saga by Stephenie Meyer (Again. Duh.)

9. 1984 by George Orwell (When I read the scene with the lights, I was like “Hey! Star Trek TNG totally ripped this off.)

10. You Are My I Love You by Maryann Cusimano Love/Illustrated by Satomi Ichikawa (I was shopping in a bookstore with Nephie and picked this up while he was playing with something because it was the same illustrator as one of my favourite books when I was a child. I read it and started crying…)

books.jpg

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Weezer Update

I did finally narrow down my top Weezer songs for my friend’s blog (went with 16… 15 was too difficult). We coordinated our posts – her Music Monday and my editorial on fandom in general as well as recounting my experience winning an autographed guitar from a free Weezer contest. For the curious, here are those links.

Thoughts on Fandom

Music Monday – Weezer

Weezer Fangirl Adventures – Part 1

Weezer Fangirl Adventures – Part 2

And, because everyone should enjoy their talent, here is Weezer’s new single (available now on iTunes – album drops Oct. 7th)

(originally posted to wohngsikneuih)

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Fanfic Rec Wednesday – Summer Rose

Since it’s almost the most patriotic of all American holidays, I’m gonna recommend that you read natalayx’s (@natalayx) Soldierward fic, Summer Rose. Here’s the fanfiction.net link.

summer rose.jpg

I’m not saying ONLY Americans would enjoy this one. I’m Canadian and I liked it. And Nat herself is Australian.

I haven’t read a lot of military-oriented stories yet. Not that I have anything against them, but I just don’t get the same surge of emotion right off the bat that I find the majority of American readers do. Of course, we have our own Armed Forces in Canada, but it’s not ingrained into our social consciousness the same way. I don’t really understand that whole “duty to your country” thing. I was worried that a lack of connection to the emotions the characters feel would pull me out of the story, but that wasn’t the case. I was right there with Edward and Bella, struggling through their difficulties with them. I think that’s what stands out to me about Nat’s story. I spoke to her about this and she said it was “more of him wanting to help the innocent people in a third world country that didn’t ask for war” than a sense of duty to serve his country that made him feel compelled to join the army. I really liked that. I totally “get” that.

And I should really stop saying that I never cry when I’m reading, ‘cause I did it again. :’’’(

It’s kinds hard to believe just a picture inspired the whole thing!

picspiration.jpg

sent to natalayx by packy (@_LittleLovely_) as “picspiration”

It just completed a week ago and it’s a quick read – less than 40,000 words in 16 chapters. Go read it and let her know what you thought. I personally think it’s really good and super sweet. Can’t wait to see what Nat comes up with next.

(originally posted to Eat. Sleep. Breathe. Twilight.)

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Fanfic Rec Wednesday – The Practicum

Sorry I missed last week. I was on vacation with my girls who I only really get to see once or maybe twice a year. I was having too much fun and then grabbing whatever sleep I could in between to be able to get something ready. And since I was in the States, I had no data roaming or Wi-Fi on my phone. I’m still recovering from all the craziness and travel, but I do have a guest rec for you today.

This one comes from my good friend Angie (@ang062).

Title: The Practicum

the practicum.png

By: TheFicChick

Link: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/8906792/1/The-Practicum

Why is it good?:  This fic has been on my TBR list forever. I have loved pretty much everything that I have read from TheFicChick.  After a long work week, I just needed something light. This was EXACTLY what I was looking for.  Low angst, lots of laughs, and a blushing Edward.  This was a very quick read for me and had me smiling throughout.  The summary reads: “We’re going to be teaching high schoolers how not to get each other knocked up or infected with gonorrhea. It’s hardly a romantic evening for two.”

I’m usually not one for high school fics but B & E are the teachers in this one. It takes that awkward health class that everyone was tortured with and gives you a completely different (hilarious) view. Plus it also contains one spectacular blow job!

~~~~~

I haven’t yet read The Practicum (I feel like I say that a lot…), but I do love TheFicChick. She wrote one of my very favourites, Departures. Also, I totally trust Angie’s opinion. She’s never lead me astray. It’s a shorter length fic – just shy of 98,000 words in 15 chapters so if you haven’t already read The Practicum, check it out.

Thanks so much for the rec, Ang!!

(originally posted to Eat. Sleep. Breathe. Twilight.)

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Fanfic Rec Wednesday – Que Sera Sera

Today’s guest rec is from my good friend Dee (@mizzdee_FF).

Title: Que Sera Sera

que sera sera.jpg

By: Livie79 (@livieliv79)

Link: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/8623804/1/Que-Sera-Sera

Why is it good?:  In the world of fanfiction, there is nothing better in my eyes than a great angst filled story. A story that is written so well that its drama and completely flawed characters rip your heart right out of your chest, tear it to pieces and then shove it back in whether its fixed or not. While we always wish for a happy ending to every story, sometimes the happiest ending can only be an end.

One of my absolute favorites of these stories is Que Sera Sera by the amazing Queen of Angst herself…Livie79.

It’s a story filled with heavy angst and flawed and evil characters that make you wish you were a part of the story just so you could exact some revenge for the one who couldn’t do it for herself.

But there is a bright light in the middle of all this sadness.

A simple yet beautiful love story between a very shy, scared, closed off Bella and a super sweet Edward. Together, they find a love and a possible future neither one believed they could have. And in each other, they each find a strength they never knew existed as they fight back against the evil threatening to destroy their world.

Though the subject matter is difficult, this story is so beautifully written that it rips you open and fills you with so many emotions that your heart is ready to burst. It’s an amazing story and will always be one of my favorites. Hopefully, it will become one of yours too.

~~~~~

Another one I have not yet read myself. I’m so glad that I have friends who can offer you something more to add to your TBR lists. It’s been added to mine.

Thank you for helping me out with the rec, Dee!

(originally posted to Eat. Sleep. Breathe. Twilight.)

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