Heartbroken

“If somebody loves you, won’t they always love you?”

I think about this quote from Whitney Houston’s Where Do Broken Hearts Go a lot.

For me, yes, it’s true. Once I love someone, I will always love them. I don’t let go.

Ever.

It can suck, especially when someone has dumped me and eradicated me from their life. But it can also suck when it was me that made that choice and had to remove someone from my life. I’ve had to distance myself from people for my own well-being for various reasons, but that doesn’t mean I just stop caring about them. Sometimes that hurts me as much as it might have hurt them because I have to keep myself from letting them back in.

I’ve realized over the years, unfortunately, this is not true for other people. It’s rare actually, I think. I guess it makes sense. Most people don’t marry the first person they fall in love with and stay together forever. And friendships come and go just as frequently as romantic entanglements. It would be awful to have to carry undying feelings of love for ALL THOSE PEOPLE throughout your whole life. It hurts less to be able to let them go and start fresh. I’m even a little jealous. I wish I could banish some people from my heart forever. Specifically, the ones that hurt me the most.

Alas~ here I am, still hung up on random boys from high school and a multitude of failed friendships over the years.

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