Alone

I have a few friends with whom I commiserate about the struggles of daily living and desires to grow and be a better person – you know, girl friends – and a couple of them are super into Rachel Hollis and have been hardcore recommending that I read her book “Girl, Wash Your Face”.

I’ve been in a baaaaaad place for a long time now and have been utterly unable to hear anything positive and uplifting because it makes me angry or feel defeated. But the last few weeks, I started to feel just slightly better so they said maybe now I would be open to giving this book a try.

They did give me the disclaimer that it’s a little churchy – that rubs a lot of our group the wrong way for various reasons. I’m currently at a point where the mention of anything religious is very off-putting but Ang said if she could handle it, she was sure I could too. (Girl, your tolerance is a lot higher than you give yourself credit for ‘cause…. damn. Ugh. Blech. It was too much. WAY too much.)

Well, anyway, I just finished the audiobook and… I’m actually feeling apprehensive about my friends asking what I thought.   I… did not enjoy it. (Sorry, Ang and Jodes.)

I don’t want my distaste for it to be a letdown for them because they loved it so much. I know that’s silly ‘cause, as a group of friends, we’re always emphasizing that other’s opinions don’t have any bearing on our own. But, there’s still that underlying desire to have others feel passionately about the things we do. We want to share our joy and excitment about things with the people we’re close to. I know this more than some perhaps, because I am alone in a lot of my interests. (That’s why I’m always so appreciative when someone gives something I really like a try, regardless of their final opinion.)

And, sadly, that sums up the feeling that this book left me. Alone. It had the exact opposite affect than what Rachel Hollis was intending. The whole purpose in her writing the book, she states throughout, is by talking about her own life, other women would feel a sense of camaraderie or solidarity or something by being able to see themselves in her stories.

I did not feel that. I didn’t relate to her hardly at all. We seem to have only 3 things in common – we’re both the daughters of preachers (she embraces a life of faith whereas my experience has left me with almost none), we’re both fans of Twilight, and we both shave our toes.  ;P

She’s a workaholic. She is successful. She’s a mom. She’s busy. I am none of those things. Those differences wouldn’t be such a big deal except that she made statements about the fast-paced life “we all live” over and over.

I already have issues with feeling like a freak about my lifestyle. I’ve yet to meet anyone I have a life trajectory in common with. And for someone to talk about this lifestyle everyone else has, apparently EXCEPT me, and make that the main thread of her book, just further reinforces my feelings of being alone in how I go through life. I feel apart from everyone else. I always feel that way but tonight, I feel that even more than usual.

Just to be clear, I didn’t hate the book. There were some good parts. She had some interesting, insightful things to say, some of which did apply. (She says “we don’t see life how it is – we see it how we are” and that is right in line with my basic philosophy.) I just didn’t connect with it at all.

I guess there is no such book that I could ever fully relate to. Maybe I’ll just have to write that book myself…  🙂

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