WTAF

I had another one of those really fucked up dreams last night (or this morning, I guess). It came completely out of nowhere too. I went to bed about 5am and, as usual of course, it took me a long time to fall asleep. I was relatively happy though. I was that nice kind of tired and we had the window open so there was a lovely breeze coming in. It was raining softly and I could hear our next door neighbour’s wind chimes tinkling.

Then I fell asleep and it all went to shit.

I don’t even know if I can accurately describe what happened. I was exactly where I was in reality – lying in my bed, groggy from having drifted off. The light was pretty much the same as it was when I had gone to bed. There was a slight illumination from the moon and the fact that it was almost morning. I was looking at Hubby. I could see that he was dreaming. His eyes were fluttering. All very normal things. I really thought that I had woken up.

Then his eyes did that thing that they do on TV to show REM sleep. They were creepy. I could see the whites of his eyes as the fluttering got worse. Then his face fucking contorted into what I can only describe as horrifying. It was like a scream, but like he was… melting, or something? And his back arched up of the bed but his head stayed back like he was staring at the ceiling, but not seeing it. It was like he was possessed.

Again, I thought I was awake and that this was actually happening, so I did what I would have done had that been the case. I tried to wake him up and comfort him. I moved closer to him and grabbed on to him. I was trying to say something to him but no sound would come out.
Something in my consciousness shifted then. Without thinking it in words, I knew I was dreaming. All of a sudden, I was screaming in my dream-sleep but my mouth wouldn’t move and I couldn’t make sound. Even though Hubby was still freaking me out and oblivious to me anyway, I clung to him. I shook him and tried to speak. I could hear my own thoughts screaming, “Help me! Help me! Help me!” over and over. I put my mouth right next to his ear and hoped he could hear the sound my lips made when they forms the words since no sound was coming out, which was really weird because my mouth was stuck shut. Somehow, my brain registered that both were happening at the same time.

It all sounds so stupid but it was the most terrifying thing ever.

I don’t know if you would consider this a lucid dream. Even though I knew I was dreaming, I had no control over my movements. It was one of those awful dream paralysis things.

It was over pretty quickly. I woke up, as I luckily always do when I’ve been more scared that I can actually handle. But the paralysis part stuck. As I was waking up, I was screaming, but with my mouth closed. Sound was coming out finally but it probably sounded more like groaning. It hurt my throat though. This time Hubby did respond, although – I love you, Hubs, but you SUCK at comforting dream-shaken me when you’re sleeping. Oh well.

So, he’s trying to wake me up, thinking I’m still stuck in my dream, but really I was stuck in being awake and unable to move or open my mouth. The sounds I made got louder and louder and eventually the hold on my body was released and my mouth opened and I immediately began sobbing hysterically. Those sobs that wrack your whole body and tears exploded everywhere. It was a few minutes before I got a handle on myself.

The whole thing was disturbing.

I looked at the clock when I finally calmed and lay back down to try to go back to sleep again. Less than an hour had past since I had fallen asleep. For fucks sake.

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