My Self

meditation

I am fascinated by the concept of self. Or a soul. As in vs. the ego and such. I ponder the question, where does your soul reside? When I think of “I”, my thoughts appear behind my eyes. My brain, then? I close my eyes and sense myself as a consciousness up in my head. I’ve tried to move it. Could ‘I’ be in my heart? Or my feet? My legs, my arms, my hands, my back? Can I face another direction? I never realized my sense of self was so tied to just that one sense. Still with my eyes closed, I tried to sense me in my ears. It’s a strange concept to grapple with.

Just like how language shapes our sense of self, so do our senses.

I am so curious about people who are blind or deaf from birth. How is their self perceived? Is it different? Is it still in that spot? What about people with impairments in the other senses? Do they experience a difference in self? This seems stupid. If I had no taste, I would still feel me as I do now. Right? …But would I?

If I focus on touch, I can ALMOST perceive myself away from that space in my brain. But it slips back. I feel all over my body. I can sense my body and the points of contact it makes with whatever I am touching. But it’s still my brain that processes the sensation. ‘I’ am still firmly rooted up here.

It’s clear my ego is very much in the forefront of my thought-producing organ. So where is my soul? Without my thoughts, where am I?

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