My Superpower

Sometimes, autism is my favourite thing about me.

I LIKE that I’m “picky”. I prefer to think of it as discerning. I have great taste. And I think about everything very thoroughly. I don’t do things for no reason. I test things out and form my opinions based on the very best.

I wish all people were like that!

Another characteristic I like is my sense of space. I can’t really explain it to people that don’t see the world the same way I do. All I can say is that physical environment and where I am in space is super important to me. The hyperfocus allows me to remember settings very well. I can be your tour guide! Haha. It might be a weird thing to be proud of but when someone compliments me on my ability to remember direction or orientation or is impressed by it, it makes me happy.

The other aspect I enjoy for myself but desperately wish I could share with other people is my rich inner life. There are literally thousands of images and feelings swirling around in my brain constantly. It provides me joy and comfort and I want to be able to give that to others too. Alas, I am no Tim Burton or Miyazaki or Mozart or~ (ad nauseum of people I admire for their talent) and it all remains locked up inside me for only me to know.  Pity.

I wish I could take a peak inside Hayao Miyazaki’s mind.

There are obviously the really sucky things about being autistic, but it’s not all bad.

There is a quote I read from here. “On a good day, the AS feels like a very interesting and pleasantly eccentric way of being. On a bad day, it feels like a very limiting disability.”

(written back in late 2016)

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2 Responses to My Superpower

  1. mickmar21 says:

    I call having Aspergers as a blessing and a curse as it has made my life more complicated than it needed to be. On the flip side the positives such as having a “warehouse for a mind” is helpful, as is being a lateral thinker.

    • kmah88 says:

      Yes! I definitely agree that it comes with both good and bad. There are many things I’d rather not have to deal with. But if I had to trade in all the richness of experience I’ve been gifted just to not have those difficulties, I wouldn’t do it. I realize of course that many others don’t feel that way. And in the thick of tough times, I’d probably say something different completely. I just try to hold onto the good whenever I’m able to. And I want people who have no idea what it’s like to live a neurotypical life that it’s not ONLY bad things. I think many people might not realize that.

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