You may or may not know that I have been unemployed for a year and a half now. Well, technically, a lot longer than that… but I graduated from college in June of last year and have been doing “nothing” since then. I kept saying I didn’t want a job in my field. I never even tried to get one. And in that time, I only handed in applications for 3 other jobs (tea stores and a toy store). I’ve been sitting around waiting for inspiration to strike because I didn’t have any clue what I want to do – only what I didn’t want to do.
I am in the unique and blessed position that I don’t NEED to work for necessity. Hubby has a good job and takes care of everything we need. I only need a job to give my life structure (I do not do well without routine and social interaction) and purpose. I haven’t gotten one in all this time because I didn’t know where my “purpose” lies.
Lately, I have been on somewhat or a personal journey (which why I say I’m not really doing nothing) – some might say it’s a spiritual journey. Whatever. Not really the point right now. But I’ve been seeking a lot recently and it’s either spurred by or opened me up to (chicken or the egg) a feeling like… the universe is trying to tell me something. I don’t mean to sound hokey or cheesy. I just ….I don’t really know how to explain it.
Sometimes you hear people talk about getting a “calling”. My own father claims this. When I was a child, he felt called to ministry and left a cushy life and a career in dentistry. Other people always seem to know what they are supposed to be doing with their life. But I think as with the majority of people, I felt completely lost on that front. And yet, I believe that everyone HAS a purpose and when you don’t know what it is, the universe will send you messages and point you in the right direction.
Recently, I have felt that one of these messages was trying to make itself known. I had no idea what is was going to be or if I was missing something. To use a metaphor, it was like I was waiting for a phone call but maybe the ringer on my phone was off. Or even listening to a radio, waiting for a personalized message, but like the message was in Italian and I wasn’t understanding. The universe (I’m only calling it this for ease of vocabulary, BTW) was trying to tell me something but I couldn’t hear it.
Today, I was watching TV and the topic of conversation was purpose and “the hero’s journey”/call to action. Jean Houston said everyone gets a call (or several) and to ignore it will destroy you. Then she said something I’d never heard before. It’s not always a call for your life’s great purpose but calls can be to do certain things along the journey. She used the example of getting married or getting a job. This immediately struck a cord with me. It occurred to me maybe I was going about this the wrong way. Maybe it wasn’t that I should find the right job but that I should find A job. Something to kickstart the opportunities I’ve been waiting for. So I made a decision. As soon as the show was over, I was gonna send out another resume. Maybe to Starbucks. I don’t even drink coffee, but at least the heart of the company is something I believe in.
I kid you not, TWO MINUTES LATER~ I swear… two minutes after this mini epiphany, the doorbell rang. To add a fun little layer to the surreality of this situation, I will just point out the fact that I never answer the door. Never. Before Hubby left for work, he said he was expecting a package via courier that wouldn’t leave it without a signature and please, please, please answer the door when it shows up. So when the bell rang, I paused the show reluctantly got up to get it, thinking that’s what it was.
As soon as I opened the door, I saw I was wrong. Two people with Sick Kids Hospital ID tags were there. Of course, I immediately knew why they were there. They wanted money. And I immediately felt like a fool. I was wearing pajamas (consisting of giant PJ pants and a Nyan Cat shirt) and have my ridiculous hair in a spiky tuft of a pathetic ponytail on top of my head and also am in the midst of a real lovely breakout.
It’s not like I had anything pressing to do and these people were funny and nice and it was cold and I didn’t want to just say no and shut the door in their faces, so I stood there talking to them for a bit, joking around about my embarrassing ensemble and that I had no money because I was clearly unemployed.
After a few minutes, the guy was like, “You know, we’re hiring. And you seem kind of awesome. If you want, call our office. You’re practically guaranteed a job and I’ll give you a recommendation.” I almost laughed out loud. And I almost cried. (Either really would have completed my look, don’t you think?) He said, “Sometimes opportunity knocks, right?”
Yeah. And sometimes it stands at your door and slaps you in the face to make sure you get the message.
I think this is gonna be a 2-parter. There is something else going on here too. Stay tuned. –> here
(originally posted to wohngsikneuih)