I used to write in journals a lot when I was younger. There was even a period in high school when I wrote in one every day for 6 months. If you know me, you’re probably aware that I don’t stick to anything for long. Usually I can stay focused for about 2 weeks. So 6 months was unheard of behaviour.
I can’t say exactly why I stopped writing, but I know it’s linked to how I’ve been feeling the past few years. I feel like there is a stopper in my throat sometimes that keeps me from being able to speak my mind. It’s not that I don’t want to, but I am at a loss for words. I’m hoping that by writing more often, I will be more in tune with my emotions.
By nature, I’m very reflective about everything I do. I ponder. A lot. It only makes sense to write these things down. When I did write in my journal in the past, I found it to be a very cathartic practice. In recent years, I have developed an unhealthy habit of holding everything inside, partly due to that psychological block I mentioned, and partly because I just don’t want to bother anyone. Too often, my thoughts are dark and toxic. They stew and fester and cycle back on themselves which can leave me in an unpleasant haze of nastiness for days at a time. This is when I sleep the most. It’s sometimes the only reprieve I can get from my brain. …As long as they don’t follow me into unconsciousness and plague me with nightmares, of course.
Obviously, this is not the healthiest method of coping. So~ back to my point. I use my journal to dump all these thoughts. Purge them from my brain in the hopes of lessening their toxicity. Once they are out, it can help to stop that cycle.
The original plan was to write every day. But I don’t want to set myself up for failure, so I’m just going to say I will write more. Since I wrote only one entry in the last year and a half, it shouldn’t be hard to beat!
Now, I want to pose this challenge to you. If I find it helpful, I’m sure that anyone would. But there are numerous reasons to write. Some people do it as a creative outlet, some simply to record memories, others may do it just to have a habit to stick with. Or maybe you just want to practice your penmanship? Whatever. Start writing. See what it can do for you.
I’m going to do a separate post with ideas and pictures and stuff.
(originally posted to wohngsikneuih)
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